[one, two , three!]
The first night that I come home
So drunk I could not see
Found a horse in my stable
Where my horse oughta be
Come here my little wifey
Explain this thing to me
How come a horse in the stable
Where my horse oughta be?
You blind fool, you crazy fool
Cant you never see?
Its only a milkcow
Youre granny sent to me
Ive traveled this world over
Ten thousand miles or more
But a saddle upon a milkcows back
I never did see before
The second night that I come home
So drunk I could not see
Found a coat a-hanging on the rack
Where my coat oughta be
Come here my little wifey
Explain this thing to me
How come a coat a hanging a hanging on the rack
Where my coat oughta be?
You blind fool, you crazy fool
Cant you never see?
Its only a bedquilt
Youre granny sent to me
Ive traveled this world over
Ten thousand miles or more
Pockets upon a bedquilt
I never did see before
The third night that I come home
So drunk I could not see
Found a head a-laying on the pillow
Where my head oughta be
Come here my little wifey
Explain this thing to me
How come a head a-laying on the pillow
Where my head oughta be?
You blind fool, you crazy fool
Cant you never see?
Its only a cabbage head
Youre granny sent to me
Ive traveled this world over
Ten thousand miles or more
But a moustache on a cabbage head
I never did see before