Now, ever since I was a baby boy
I growed up in a little country church
Where people spake in tongues and jumped for joy
Plywood pews would creak and squeak and lurch
All around me people got the spirit
Fall down on the ground and start to shake
I tried and cried but I could not get near it
My little Pentecostal heart would break
I’m sorry, Jesus,
If I displeased you
I didn’t mean to turn you away
I’m sorry, Savior,
If I ever lost favor
Maybe I never had quite enough faith
Now, in Sunday School we read the blessed book
How you was tempted in the wilderness
Forty days without no drink or food
Beat the devil in a game of chess
Well, half of you was just a man like me
The other half, they say, was deified
Man can go a long time and not eat
But with no water half of you’d’a died
I’m sorry, Jesus,
But you set the limits.
I tried to swim it but it was too wide
One of your writers
Pulled too many all-nighters
And made a script-o or just outright lied
When the preacher start to screaming
And a-stomping down the aisle
I used to haveta sneak down
To the cellar for a while
My head would get to pounding
And my nose would start to bleed
Sister Pritchard said I was the devil’s seed.
By and by I come to be the age
When the sisters occupied my mind
Almost like my britches was a cage
With a little ragin’ beast inside
Every time them shakers start to shimmy
Knew you must be comin’ soon for sho’
Coz their bouncin’ bosoms always gimme
Partial resurrection down below
I’m sorry, Jesus,
I’ll pull double duty
I want that booty. I’m sorry, Lord
She’s your design, Lord
And you made her too fine, Lord.
Got more behind, Lord, than her legs can afford.
I’m sorry, Jesus,
I’m down on my kneeses
Take out your tweezers, pull out my thorns
My flesh he seizes
All human diseases
My head releases the teensiest horns.
