Ozzman — текст песни (Sudden Death)

{*a parody of Sir Mix-A-Lot`s song Iron Man*}

You can come and see my band, as I command
Heavy metal rhythms from a middle aged man
Smack my doggies when they crap on the rug
But then I feel bad because I love that pug
For years I`ve peddled, hard rock metal
Got a dozen lawsuits but I`m hoping to settle
I go on tour, the fans want more
I love to throw things at the people next door
I got kids showing up at all hours of the night
Can`t stand it but I handle it and try to be polite
Gettin` old before my time thanks to Kelly and Jack
Arthritis in my knee and a crick in my back
Now I`m back on the scene `though some find it obscene
I`ll be rockin` like this till I rupture a spleen
A lot of dummies get money in a sound-alike band
But nothing there can compare to the true Ozzman

I hold the record in Guinness for bat heads finished
I`m finding new ways to mutilate the Queen`s English
My son wears cammo, he wants live ammo
I can`t allow that or the house`ll go kablammo
I shave my stubble, I don`t want trouble
But the prince of friggin` darkness doesn`t need no damn bubbles
Like where I reside? I`ll be your tour guide
I bought it for a song I wrote about suicide
The bad boy of rock, not to be mocked
Move onto my block and you might get shocked
We might seem weird but that`s part of the drill
We`re sane compared to the rest of Beverly Hills

Woah! Is that Ozzy?
Uh, huh huh huh. Ozzy`s an old fart
{*both laugh*}
Yeah, heh heh. Woah, chick it out. A mini-Ozzy
Huh huh huh, yeah. He`s a dork
Yeah. Um. Hey Butthead. What`s all that beeping?
Uh, I dunno. Maybe there`s a truck backing up or something
Yeah, heh heh. The Ozzmobile! Hehehe
{*Batman theme*} Du-nuh du-nuh du-nuh du-nuh
Ddu-nuh du-nuh du-nuh du-nuh Ozzy!
Du-nuh du-nuh du-nuh..
Shut up, assmunch!
Heh, hmm heh. Sorry `bout that
Beavis, check it out! A chick!
Hm, cool! Uuuum. What`s the matter with her hair?
Uh huh huh. Come to Butthead
{*both chant Iron Man riff*}

Long hair I`m brushin`, we have a discussion
And they bleep half the show `cause we can`t stop cussin`
I crunch a quarter note, I sacrifice a goat
I watch the weather channel `cause I can`t work the remote
MTV paid it, our show`s the highest rated
Anna Nicole is just way too sedated
But sooner or later I`ll need a translater
Mumble like Schwartzenegger in Terminator
Guitar chord ripper, Perrier sipper
Walk around the house in my fuzzy bunny slippers
Flesh like leather, worn and weathered
Take the blame a lot myself, but we`re all in this together
My kids creations don`t cause ovations
They don`t have talent, but they have agents
Critics wanna diss, fans don`t wanna miss
A lot of networks got a show but it ain`t like this

Jack. Uh huh huh