I`m Single — текст песни (Deirdre Flint)

Oh, ho, I`m single, and my life`s about me again.
That woman long neglected, I`ll find out who I am.
Oh, ho I`m single. I`m single and I`m loving it!
I have taken up old hobbies, I have no time for a man.
I`ll call up my old friends, the ones that I once knew
So we can bond again, just like we used to do
You`re married with two kids, oh gee,
Well, that`s too bad for you.
Because I`m single. I am woman I am goddess
I`ve always loved fried green tomatoes,
So it was always meant to be.
I feel my rebirth. I`ll find a female soul mate.
We`ll take off for the country, just like Thelma and Louise
I`ve called up every household in phonebooks A through Z
To find another goddess to share my destiny
And now I`m quite convinced, the only single one is me.
When I buy poultry, two thirds of it goes rotten
I correspond with inmates and I don`t comb my hair.
They`ve claimed my two legs as federally owned forest
It`s been months since I`ve shaved them,
Cause there`s been no one here to care
They call me nasty names at every corner bar
I need to see a shrink, this thing has gone too far
Last night I threw myself down stairs just for the C.P.R.
Oh, ho, I`m single and I`m not hearing voices!!
You say that cause you`re jealous of all the fun I`ve had
Wait, I`m not single. I`ve got some special friends now
We live in here together and I don`t feel so bad
I have a female soul mate, her name is Emily
Don`t tell me you don`t see her, she`s standing next to me
And she doesn`t call me sick or weird or deranged mentally
Just cause I`m single.