Another day, another dollar
Your nigga`s home
Don`t make me holler
Is anybody home?
Hmm, I guess not
Let`s see what`s on the hellavision
U like the food here?
(Yeah)
Good, huh?
(It`s alright)
Try the canolli, it`s fabulous
(I`m kinda full, alright)
Mmm
U gonna eat that meatball there?
U, U just gonna let it...
Maybe girl made some food out here
Here, give it 2 me
U`re not gonna eat it
(At least not now)
Mmm, let`s see what I can get up here 2 grease on
Mmm, yeah
Best meatball in the city
What are U doin` there?
Hmm, this might work
(Give it 2 me, I`ll eat it)
Lemme see, mmm
So tell me, U like broads?
(They`re alright, I...)
Yep
Boy, have I got a broad story 4 U
Yeah, some corn, yeah
(Jesus)
Let`s see, uh
I`m on a date with this broad, right?
Lets` see, stove top directions, uh
I bring her here
(Here?)
Yeah, right here
I thought I`d put some food in her belly
Empty contents into small sauce pan, hmm
U know, get a little curve in her slope
U know what I`m sayin?
(Slope?)
Right...
Now let me go see if I can find one of these muthafuckers, hmm
(Oh, gosh)
So I`m like Go ahead toots, order what U like, it`s on me
Make her think I`m a big shot, U know
I said So order, order somethin` 4 me 2
I`m gonna run 2 the little boys room
Hmm, shit, that definitely ain`t no sauce pan
I gotta burp the baby
Mmm, that ain`t no sauce pan
U know what I`m sayin`?
I figured she`d order me somethin` light
Let me see if I can find this shit
Like a couple of salads or somethin`
Boy, was that a mistake
(Why?)
I comes back from the bathroom
Alright, got it, got it
I`m sittin` there
Ah, that`s cool
Waitin` 4 the food
Now, if I can just get this corn open
This broad ordered the whole left side of the menu!
OK, let`s see
Said she just wanted 2 nibble
Where`s the damn can opener? Shit!
Nibble my ass
I`ll open this muthafucker
I`m hungry!
This broad ate every fuckin` thing except the silverware
Shit ain`t openin`
(Come on)
I kid U not
{phone rings}
Shit`s gonna open now
I mean, she was a little on the thick side 2 begin with
Alright, I got it, mmm hmm
U know what I mean?
But I figured she`d have the decency 2 pig out when she got home
Talk
(Hey brother, what`s up?)
Not here, right?
(Right)
I mean U, U ever had a broad do that?
Ain`t nothin` but a wang
(No, not really)
Fuckin` pisses U off, am I right?
My girl`s gone somewhere
Right, so I reaches over
I... I`m just cookin`
I took the fuckin` mashed potatoes and I threw `em all over that broad
Hey, hey, what`s this?
(Now wait a minute)
That ain`t all though, check this out
Hmm, let me call U back
(What?)
The waiter sees what just happened
What the...
He`s gonna be Mr. Macho, right
He comes over and says
What U do that 4?
I`m sick of the changes U put me through?
(And U said?)
I said What the fuck business is it of yours?
I`m payin` 4 these fuckin` potatoes
All U think about is music?
I`ll do what the fuck I wanna do with`em!
Now bring me a fuckin` finger bowl!
I`m leavin` your NBA no ballin` ass?
(What happened?)
What happened?
I`ll tell U what happened
Ain`t that a bitch?
Here, gimme some of that meatball
(Hey, hey, I was gonna eat that)
This punk waiter, he think he`s the hero type, right
Punk
He throws the finger bowl on my head
I kid U not
I`m sittin` there, head soakin` wet
Mashed potatoes in my finger nails
And this broad`s crackin` up
(Ha ha ha ha)
I kid U not
She`s rollin` on the carpet, people...
Gimme some water there
(Hey, hey, get...)
People leavin` the restaurant
She`s laughin` so hard potatoes are flyin` off her head
(U got mad?)
Damn right I was mad!
I said, Very funny
(Well, it is kinda funny)
And I left her fuckin` ass right there
Rollin` in those fuckin` mashed potatoes
And I left this joint with out payin` a dime
(Well, what are U eatin` here now 4 I mean?)
That`s the killer!
I was so mad I bought this joint
(But the girl...)
Fuckin` right
(What happened 2 her, man?)
That`s her over there, workin` the fuckin` cash register
(Naw, her?)
U gonna eat this?
(That`s the mashed potato girl?)
Here, gimme this bread
(She`s, she`s great, what do U mean?)
Is this the best bread in the city or what?
What the fuck`s your problem?
(Look at her, she`s, she`s gorgeous)
U eat like a fuckin` parakeet
(What...)
I`m still hungry
U hungry?
(Naw, naw)
Naw, U not hungry
U want some bird seed or somethin`?
Look here, order me somethin`!
(Man, shut up now)
I`m gonna run 2 the little boys room
