I am into showbiz, I am a road manager
D`ya know a sexy chick? I got a pass for her
Touring can be boring, but not for me
You got to entertain yourself, I got a special hobby:
I fuck with the support band, I remember when
We had a shitty little group, called "Freak Kitchen"
I`m always in the mode for, let`s say, any kind of dope
I asked the drummer if he wanted some, but he said "nope"
Well I couldn`t believe what I just heard
The drummer of this group was this astonishing nerd
The singer and guitarist and the bass player as well
If I only had the guts I`d tell Г©m: go to hell!
Instead I turned around and asked a guy from the crew
To go and get a girl that we all can screw
You see, I an asshole and a real hypocrite
And my wife and kids don`t know hippo-shit
I rather be a jerk, than being hip like you
I rather be a jerk, than do the shit you do
I rather be a jerk, than snort �til I turn blue
I rather be a jerk, I rather be a jerk
An orgy a day keeps the Mrs away
I`m a road manager in a giant ashtray
And when my conscience knocks on the door
I bury myself in horse as a cure
And a prostitute, then I shoot some more
I rather be a jerk, than being hip like you
I rather be a jerk, than do the shit you do
I rather be a jerk, than snort �til I turn blue
I rather be a jerk, I rather be a jerk