Let`s meet contestant number one
He`s a skitsofrantic, serial killer clown
Who says, woman love his sexy smile
Let`s find out if his charm will work on Sharon
Sharon, what`s your question?
Contestant number one,
I believe first impressions last forever
So let`s say you were to come over to my parent`s house
And have dinner with me and my family
Tell me what you would do to make
That first impression really stick
Let`s see, uh, well, I`d have to think about it
I might show up in a tux, HA!, but I doubt it
I`d probably just show up naked like I always do
And lick your momma in the eye and tell her, FUCK YOU!!!
Hurry up bitch, I`m hungry, I smell spaghetti
I`d pinch her loopy ass and tell her, Get the food ready!
Your dad will probably start tripping and get me pissed
I`d have to walk up and bust him in his fucking lips!
It`s dinner time, we hearing grace from your mother
I pull a forty out and pour some for your little brother
I`m steady staring at your sister, I`ll tell you this
You know for only 13, she got some big tits
After that, your dad will try to jump again
And only this time, I`d put the forty to his chin
After you mom does the dishes and the silverware
I`d dry-fuck her till I nut in my underwear
Now, let`s me contestant number two
He`s a psychopathic, deranged, crackhead freak
Who works for the Dark Carnival
He says women call him stretch nuts
Sharon, let`s hear your question
I like a man who`s not afraid to show his true emotions
A man who expresses himself in his own special way
Number two, if you fell in love with me
Exactly how would you let me know?
First thing, I could never love you
You sound like a richie-bitch, yo, FUCK YOU!!!
But if I did, I`d probably show you that I care
By taking all these other motherfuckers outta here
I`d go through your phone book and whack em all
And find contestant number one and break his fucking jaw (what?!)
Anyone who looked at you, would have to pay
I`d be blowing fucking nuggets off all day
I`d grab your titties and stretch em down past your waist
Let em go, and watch em both spring up in your face
I`d sing love songs to you, the best I can
Get you naked, and hit it like a CAVEMAN!!!
When we go to the beach and walk through the sand
I throw a little in your face and say, I`m just playin
As you spit it all out, I`d rub your back
And grab your underwear and wedge it up your ass crack!!
Well it sounds like contestant number two
Is just over-flowing with sensativity, Sharon
It`s a touch choice so far
Sharon, let`s have your last question and
See which one is going to win the rights to your neden
Okay, if we were at a dance club, and you both noticed me at the
same time. Tell me, how would you each get my attention, and what would
your pick up line be? Well, whoever`s the smoothest wins!
Okay, first I`d slide up to the bar
And tell you that I can`t believe how fucking fat you are
I`d tell that I like the way you make your titties shake
And if you lost a little weight, you`d look like Rickie Lake!
Fuck that, you`d be jocking me quick
I`d order you a drink and stir it with my dick
And then to get your attention in the crowded place
I`d simply walk up and stick my nuts in your face
Yeah, freak with your nuts, yo, that`ll get her
Tell her that`s she fat, yeah, that`ll work even better
Look, fuck you, I got a strong rap
Shit, you don`t want contestant number two
He`s mad-whack
I walk into a bar and there he was
Standing up on a bucket, eww, trying to fuck it
It was a big fucking smelly, ass farm llama
Damn dawg! how you gonna diss your momma?!
