Play Your Cards Wrong — текст песни (Rodney Carrington)

if you play your cards wrong
you can take me home tonight
you`ve got all the makings
of my future ex-wife
i`ve got 3 bucks
my credit sucks
and my future don`t look to bright
if you play your cards wrong
you can take me home tonight

some call me a loser
and a lazy no good slob
i`ve lost my house
i`ve got no car
i cant keep a job
but i`ve got a big heart
and another part
take me home, you`ll understand
because my genitalia looks like a pringles can

if you play your cards wrong
you can take me home tonight
when i pull my pants down
hey you won`t believe i`m white
it`s been said that i`m Mr. Ed
but don`t worry, I won`t bite
if you play your cards wrong
you can take me home tonight

some call me dishonest
and they say i`m just lyin`
but i peed next to ol` John Holmes and
he started cryin`
on a sunny day i`ve got it made
get under my wiener if you need shade
if you play your cards wrong
you can take me home tonight