I`m A Band Leader — текст песни (Frank Zappa)

Captain Beefheart (vocals)

I`m a band leader. Not only can I drink a whole lot, but I play 23 different instruments , too and I don`t even know how to read music. Self-taught, you know. Couldnt tell it, though, to hear me play. When I play and sway in rhythm to the catchy little tunes that I know for five miles around get hot pants for me, hotcha!

Last night was pretty good for a Wednesday. We got ten requests for, we got Bill Bailey, and we played them all and we got seven people came up for the twist contest. I gave away a box with two small bottles of champagne imported from Europe (heh) and kissed the girl who won and shook hands with the guy she was with. He didnt mind when I kissed her because I`m important.

We have a new routine. Been working on it for three weeks or more. I pretend I`m a queer and the sax player pretends he`s a queer, too, and later on in the show, (thisll kill ya) we kiss each other so that it looks to the audience like we kiss each other on the mouth. (heh). When we go... into a fast number, GOD, the people love it! Wait... till... we... get to Las Vegas!

(Ha-heh-heh)