Frank zappa (lead guitar, vocals)
Warren cucurullo (rhythm guitar, vocals)
Denny walley (slide guitar, vocals)
Ike willis (lead vocals)
Peter wolf (keyboards)
Arthur barrow (bass, vocals)
Ed mann (percussion)
Vinnie colaiuta (drums)
Arriving at l. ron hoovers modernistic office / cathedral / warehouse / condominium complex, joe is greeted by a pre-recorded message and a dramatically illuminated image on a wall-sized tv scr
.
L. ron hoover:
Welcome to the first church of appliantology! the white zone is for loading and unloading only!
Dont you be tarot-fied
Its just a token
Of my extreme
Dont you be tarot-fied
Its just a token
Of my extreme
Dont you never try to
Look behind my eyes
You dont wanna know
What they have seen
Dont you never try to
Look behind my eyes
You dont wanna know
What they have seen
Joe: (thinking to himself)
Some people think
That if they go too far
Theyll never get back
To where the rest of
Them are
I might be crazy
But theres one thing
I know
You might be surprised
At what you find
When ya go!
And thus, having ration- alized his expedition to l. rons modernistic office / cathedral / warehouse / condominium complex, joe seeks the answer to his problem...
Joe:
Oh oh oh
Mystical advisor
What is my problem,
Tell me
Can you see?
L. ron hoover:
Well, you have nothing
To fear, my son!
You are a latent
Appliance fetishist,
It appears to me!
Joe:
That all seems very,
Very strange
I never craved
A toaster
Or a color t.v.
L. ron hoover:
A latent appliance
Fetishist
Is a person who
Refuses to admit
To his or herself
That sexual
Gratification can
Only be achieved
Through the use of
Machines...
Get the picture?
Joe:
Are you telling me
I should come out
Of the closet now
Mr. ron?
L. ron hoover:
No, my son!
You must go into
The closet
Joe:
What?
L. ron hoover:
And you will have
Joe:
Heh?
L. ron hoover:
Hey!
A lot of fun!
Thats where
They all live
So if you want an
Appliance to love you
Youll have to
Go in there
n get you one
Joe:
Well...that seems
Simple enough...
L. ron hoover:
Yes, but if you want a
Really good one,
Youll have to learn a
Foreign language...
Joe:
German, for instance?
L. ron hoover:
Thats right...
A lot of really cute
Ones come from
Over there!
(fifty bucks, please)
And a cheerful group of
Appliantologists dance
Into the room wearing
Aluminum foil lab smocks,
Lock arms in a circle
Around joe, making sure
He pays in full, all the
While singing with l. ron
As he delivers his final
Instructions...
L. ron hoover:
If you been
Mod-o-fied,
Its an illusion,
An yer in between
Dont you be
Tarot-fied,
Its just a lot of nothin,
So what can it mean?
If you been
Mod-o-fied,
Its an illusion,
An yer in between
Dont you be
Tarot-fied,
Its just a lot of nothin,
So what can it mean?
If you been
Mod-o-fied,
Its an illusion,
An yer in between...
