By Donald Pleasence and Meira Pleasence
SNOW UP YOUR NOSE FOR CHRISTMAS,
ICE ON YOUR PAWS AND YOUR CLAWS.
TING-A-LING, TING-A-LING, TING-A-LING, LEARN TO SING,
AN ANIMAL`S CHRISTMAS FIT FOR A KING.
DING-DING-DING-A-LING-A-LING,
DING-A-LING, DING-A-LING,
DING-A-LING, DING-A-LING-A-LING,
DING-A-LING, DING-A-LING.
DING-DING-DING-A-LING-A-LING,
DING-A-LING, DING-A-LING,
DING-A-LING, DING-A-LING-A-LING,
DING-A-LING, DING-A-LING.
IT`S NOT THE BEST DAY OF THE YEAR
FOR A DUCK OR A GOOSE OR A DEER.
LITTLE CHICKS CAN GET KILLED,
FATHER GEESE, I AM TOLD,
HATE THE SIGHT OF THE SNOW
AND THE RICH CHRISTMAS CHILL.
DING-A-LING, DING-A-LING-A-LING...
DIALOG:
"LOOK! LOOK! THE JOLLIES` ON TV! THERE`S MOLLY JOLLY AND THERE`S HOLLY JOLLY AND THE ELECTRIC GUITAR, AND MISTER WALLY JOLLY STANDING ON HIS HEAD AND PLAYING THE TROMBONE AT THE SAME TIME!"
"WHO`S THE GIRL?"
"POLLY JOLLY!"
DING-A-LING, DING-A-LING-A-LING,
DING-A-LING, DING-A-LING.
SNOW UP YOUR NOSE FOR CHRISTMAS,
SNOW FOR A FAT SANTA CLAUS.
THERE IS SNOW UP YOUR NOSE,
THERE IS ICE ON HIS TOES,
PEOPLE GETS PRESENTS WHEREVER HE GOES.
DING-A-LING, DING-A-LING-A-LING,
DING-A-LING, DING-A-LING,
DING-A-LING, DING-A-LING-A-LING,
DING-A-LING, DING-A-LING.
DING-A-LING, DING-A-LING-A-LING,
DING-A-LING, DING-A-LING,
DING-A-LING, DING-A-LING-A-LING,
DING-A-LING, DING-A-LING.
SNOW UP YOUR NOSE, WIND ON YOUR FACE,
SNOW UP YOUR NOSE ON THE WHOLE HUMAN RACE.
DIALOG:
MIDNIGHT, THE FAMILY WENT TO BED.
"I`M OUT! COME ON, BONCE, FOOD!"
THEY ATE CHRISTMAS CAKE, MINTS PIES, CHEESE.
"CAN`T WE PULL ONE?"
"A CRACKER?"
"WELL, THEY`RE ALL ASLEEP, LISTEN!"
THE TWO MICE PULLED, THE CRACKER PARTED WITH A BANG. THERE WAS SILENCE ABOVE THEM, QUIET AS CHOCOLATE MICE. THE MICE LISTENED.
"LET`S SEE WHAT`S INSIDE."
"LITTLE BAG!"
"BRITISH AIRWAYS! JUST THE THING FOR OUR SURVIVAL KIT."
HE FILLED THE TOY BAG WITH CHEESE AND CAKE AND JUMPED TO THE FLOOR.
"WE`RE AWAY!"
BONCE NOSED HIS WAY THROUGH THE FRONT DOOR LIKE AN ELECTRIC DRILL.
"AFTER YOU, SCOUSE."
SCOUSE PUT HIS NOSE INTO THE OUTSIDE WORLD.
"OH, OH, IT`S, IT`S, IT`S COLD OUT THERE! AND THERE`S WHITE STUFF, SNOW, I THINK."
"OH, SCOUSE, I THINK I`LL STAY HOME."
"YOU CALL THIS HOME? LISTEN, YOU CAN ALWAYS JOIN ME. WATCH THE TELLY, I`LL BE THERE."
"HOW?"
"I`LL BE FAMOUS! FAMOUS PEOPLE ARE ALWAYS ON THE TELLY."
"WELL, GOOD LUCK THEN. BYE."
"EH...RIGHT!"
HE WENT. SCOUSE THE MOUSE WAS FREE.
