Weighin` the options of life and death
Fantasizin`, goddamn it`d be nice to rest
A .38 Smith & Wess` up against my flesh
A nigga finally feelin` blessed once the trigger`s pressed
Deep thoughts about my family, how would they react?
Insomniac, left his world like a maniac
A self-inflicted gunshot left me stretched out
Stressed out, so depressed I chose the best route
My family probably havin` fits cause I called it quits
My niggas mad cause they probably think it was a bitch
That shoe fits but it`s small like a combination
No bitch alone can send me to eternal condemnation
Shit I`m facin`s got me sittin` at the edge of my bed
Head achin` cause I`m cryin` as I beg to be dead
I can`t wait until this hot slug enters my head
Finally for Mark tears are eventually shed
Dear God, I can`t believe my life has come to this
I soak my arms up in ice tryin` to numb my wrist
I think about the opportunities I`ve had and blown
Got nothin` else to do but think cause I`m that alone
My hope is gone, went to college but I fucked it up
Got kicked out, but my heart told me: suck it up!
So I did, spent the next few years in hell
I`m losing job after job seein` dreams fail
Seein` niggas who ain`t shit get the luxuries
Nice guys finish last, who gives a fuck for me?
Reluctantly put the barrel underneath my chin
My only witness is my best friends, weed and gin
They know my sin cause I talk to `em every night
My forty ounce is always there when me and God fight
I close my eyes tight, ready for the twilight
My life and death is just another ghetto highlight
Goodbye life
[ CHORUS 2X ]
Dear God, do you listen when I cuss you out?
Don`t it provoke you to respond to what I`m fussin `bout?
Don`t it concern you that I`m losin` my belief
Confusion from massive grief got me on my knees
Why you refusin` to send relief?
I spend most of my lonely existence thinkin`, conversatin`
Tellin` the master of creation what I`m contemplatin`
Arguin`, sometimes yellin`, tears swellin`
Threatenin` to put one in my melon, finally expellin`
My tormented soul from this unbearable hell I dwell in
Searchin` like Magellan to exit this hole I fell in
This hole I live in, askin` God am I not forgiven
For my crimes in a previous life
Was I a sinner cursin God in a devious life?
Does Jesus Christ hold a grudge against me while others live the easiest life?
With no struggles, no stress, no test
Never knowin` demons like loneliness, never depressed
Never jobless, never on they hands and knees
Beggin` God please cure this poor man`s disease
Was everything in church just religious fantasies
Destroyed by science findin` ancient man`s debris?
If you listenin` God speak to me and answer these
Questions we been askin` since we covered plants with leaves
Why do good people feel Satan`s wicked embrace?
Why are good people sick and displaced?
Why are good people forced to live a life that is empty and stressed?
While the wicked seem happy and blessed
Talk to me, the devil`s tryin` to walk through me
Will you respond or will the coroner be forced to put the chalk to me?
[ CHORUS ]
