[Chorus]
People wanna know why I`m so fucked up
Could it be because of the way I grew up
I didn`t have much and times were tough
And I deal with this pain as a grown adult
[Verse 1]
Grownin` up was rough even though I had love
I came up in an environment with violence and drugs
My mom was an addict I was too young to see this
I be playin` doctor with the hypodermic needles
She told me not to touch`em they were for her boyfriend`s medicine
I guess his sickness was addiction like hers it was heroin
I`d see the bruises on her face she`d tell me that she fell
Innocence prevailed and I believed her fairy tales
Sometimes I hear him hit her and I`d hide under the covers
Listen to the terrifying screams from my motha
Vowing that one day I`d be big enough to beat him
And now I am I hope to god that I don`t ever meet`em
My father bailed out when I still a little infant
I see`em now and then but didn`t know him what`s the difference
He was an alcoholic anyway or so they say
So I guess I didn`t need him in my life anyway
My mom got clean and sober when that boyfriend shit was over
Just a matter of time before it came back and took over
Growin` up in the projects on food stamps and welfare
Kids crackin` on my sneakers never had a new pair
Mom did remarry though when I was thirteen
But it seems that her dream man turned out to be a dope fiend
Another one, shootin` up and gettin` fucked up
And then yall wonder why I never been drunk or do drugs
And then in High school I fucked up I didn`t pay attention
Fuck detention and suspension, I ain`t doin` this I`m jettin`
At 16 my whole world came to a halt
I lost my mother to the devil and I felt it was my fault
She was all that I had, now I`m sittin` all alone
16 years old trying to make it on my own
Ain`t never graduated cuz I didn`t even bother
Man I coulda been somebody if I tried a little harder
Workin` full time for a minimum wage
Wishin` I was on stage it wasn`t just a faze
Dreaming of being the next rap star sensation
I broke the hell out and took a permanent vacation
Depression hittin` harder yeah I even thought of suicide
Its do or die, and I ain`t doin` shit so I don`t even try and
Gettin` high is all the peeps around me seem to do
And I ain`t goin` that route, so I always stay true
But now life is good I gotta wife that I love
And a son in my world and I ain`t fuckin` this up
So there you have it now ya know why I`m so fucked up
And how a troubled child grows up a troubled adult
But now I gotta chance to do things right for my son
Keep him safe from these drugs and these thugs packin` guns
I`ll make it in this world and I ain`t going to go and quit
Channel all this negative into positive shit
[Chorus] - 5X
