Adam: We were doing Mok 1 in the Ookla-mobile
Luis: And Rand was at the wheel
Rand: With gear and clothes and Adam
crammed against the windshield
A: We were gonna filk until the break of dawn
L: We`re going to the con
R: Luis Tomas Garcia had his Sandman T-shirt on
A: Rand was driving I was playing my guitar
L: And I was in the car
R: And then we stopped
A: And that`s when Rand said,
R: I don`t know where we are
A: I was trying to get the map unfolded
when I heard a sound
L: I looked around
R: And then I noticed that the car
was lifted off the ground
All: What was going on
how were we floating through the air?
All: Maybe it has to do with that flying saucer
over there?
A: Hold on this might not be as bad as it seems
L: What do you mean?
R: We`ll miss the con!
L: What are you on?
R: We`re in a tractor beam!
R: Luis looked down and marvelled
at the endless rows of corn
L: That`s a lot of corn!
A: And Rand beaped out the rhythm
the theme of Close Encounters on the horn
R: Adam was trying to teach his fingers what to do
L: Na noo! Na noo!
A: As we docked aboard what appeared to be
an interstellar zoo
R: I turned the car off and we timidly disembarked
L: We`re double parked!
A: Gaping bewilderedly around this cosmic Noah`s Ark
R: And that`s when Adam walked away without a glance
L: I peed my pants
A: I couldn`t help it
I was in some kind of weird hypnotic trance
A: I woke up in a room with candles lit and muzak on
A: I was lying on a bed with nothing
but my tube socks on
A: I saw a shapely silhouette in the door
L: She was a ten!
R: An alien!
A: I was stiffer than Al Gore
A: We didn`t have a common culture or a common tongue
A: We didn`t have a thing in common
as I`ve already sung
A: We didn`t have an ounce of mutual respect
All: But we had sex
All: We had sex
All: Sex
All: We had sex
R: And then a hooded stranger took me by the hand
L: Don`t leave me Rand!
A: But Rand just followed
knowing that Luis would understand
R: She asked me if I wanted latte or Darjeeling tea
L: I`m thirsty!
A: They quickly saw they had compatible personalities
R: We had the same opinions
we shared the same philosophy
R: We had the same Snoopy lunchbox
we watched the same shows on TV
R: We both liked movies with cheap special effects
A&L: But we did not have sex
R: (She said she just wanted to stay friends)
A&L: We did not have sex
R: (She said she`d write me but she never did)
A&L: No sex
R: (She gave me her phone number
but when I called it it was a laundromat)
A&L: We did not have sex
A: With Rand and Adam gone Luis was all alone
L: E.T. phone home!
R: He was in the dark
and all he could hear was Adam moan
A: Things were looking grim
for the drummer of Ookla the Mok
L: Help me Spock!
R Next thing he knew Luis was on all fours
stripped to his jock
L: I was more scared than I had ever been
in all my life
L: I didn`t want to spend the next forty years
as E.T.`s wife
A: Well maybe this isn`t quite as bad as it seems...
L: At least yours was a female!
A&R: And they had sex
L: (Mine was a huge purple guy)
A&R: They had sex
L: (And he had this huge, long... ANTENNAE)
A&R: Sex
L: (And these bulging, humongous... EARS)
A&R: They had sex
L: (It was horrible... I`m never doing that again!)
A: It ended just as quickly as it had begun
L: You mean YOU`RE done
R: It was more confusing than the ending of 2001
A: I had a good time
R: And I gained a friend
L: It was a bad joke but I got it in the end
