It was April the 41st, being a quadruple leap year
I was driving in downtown Atlantis
My Barracuda was in the shop, so I was in a rented Stingray, and it was
overheating
So I pulled into a Shell station
They said I`d blown a seal
I said, Fix the damn thing and leave my private life out of it, okay
pal?
While they were doing that I walked over to a place called the oyster
bar -- a real dive
But I knew the owner, he used to play for the Dolphins
I said, Hi, Gil!!!
You hafta yell, he`s hard of herring
CHORUS:
Think I had a wet dream
Cruisin` through the Gulf Stream
Oooh-ooh-ooh-ooh
Wet dream...
Gil was also down on his luck
Fact is, he was barely keeping his head below water
I gullied up to the sandbar
He poured the usual
Rusty snail, hold the grunion, shaken, not stirred
With a peanut butter and jellyfish sandwich on the side -- heavy on the
mako
I slipped him a fin -- on porpoise
I was feeling good
I even dropped a sand dollar in the box for Jerry`s Squids -- for the
halibut
Well, the place was crowded
We were packed in like sardines
They were all there to listen to the big band sounds of Tommy Dorsal --
what sole
Tommy was rockin` the place with a very popular tuna -- Salmon Chanted
Evening
And the stage was surrounded by screaming groupers
Probably there to see the bass player
One of them was this cute little yellowtail
And she`s giving ME the eye
So I figure, this is my chance for a little fun
You know -- a piece of Pisces
But she said things I just couldn`t fathom
She was too deep, and seemed to be under a lot of pressure
Boy, could she drink
She drank like a... she drank A LOT...
I said, What`s your sign?
She said, Aquarium
I said, GREAT!!! Let`s get tanked!
CHORUS
I invited her up to my place for a little midnight bait
I said, C`mon baby, it`ll only take a few minnows
She threw me that same old line
Not tonight -- I got a haddock
And she wasn`t kiddin` either, `cuz in came the biggest, meanest looking
haddock I`d ever seen come down the pike
He was covered with mussels
He came over to me, he said, Listen shrimp -- don`t you come trolling
around here
What a crab
This guy was steamed -- I could see the anchor in his eyes
I turned to him, I said, Abalone -- You`re just being shellfish
Well, I knew it was going to be trouble, and so did Gil, `cuz he was
already on the phone to the cods
The haddock hits me with a sucker punch
I catch him with a left hook
He eels over
It was a fluke, but there he was, lying on the deck, flat as a mackerel
Kelpless
I said, Forget the cods, Gil, this guy`s gonna need a sturgeon
Well, the yellowtail was impressed with the way I landed her boyfriend
She came over to me, she said, Hey big boy, you`re really a game fish
What`s your name?
I said, Marlin
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Well from then on, we had a whale of a time
I took her to dinner
I took her to dance
I bought her a bouquet of flounders
And then I went home with her
And what did I get for my trouble?
A case of the clams
CHORUS
CHORUS/FADE
