(Jule Styne/Bob Merrill)
Hey, can we have your autograph?
My autograph?
I`m nobody
But wait a minute
I`ve got 36 expressions
Sweet as pie to tough as leather
And that`s six expressions more
Than all the Barrymores put together
Only six?
Instead of kicking me
I don`t think they give me a lift
I think it`s a plot
`Cause they`re scared that I got
Such a gift, I`m miffed
`Cause I`m the greatest star
I am by far, but nobody knows it
Wait, they`re gonna hear a voice
A silver flute
They`ll cheer each toot
When I expose it
Can`t you see the look at me
That I`m a natural Camille?
As Camille I just feel
I have so much to offer
I know I`ll be divine because
I`m a natural cougher
Some ain`t got it, not a lump
She a great big clump of talent
Laugh, they`ll bend in half
Did I tell the story about the traveling salesman?
A thousand laughs
Stick around for `em folks
A thousand faces, I reiterate
When you`re gifted
Then you`re gifted
These are facts, I have no axe to grind
Hey, what are they blind
In all of the world so far
I`m the greatest star
Who is the pip with pizazz?
Who is all ginger and jazz?
Who is as glamorous as?
Who`s an American beauty rose
With that American beauty nose
And ten American beauty toes
Eyes on the target and wham
One shot, one gun shot and bam
Hey, world, here I am!
I`m the greatest star
I am by far
But nobody knows it
That`s why I was born
I`ll blow my horn
`Till somebody hears it
I`ll light up like a light
Right up like a light
I`ll flicker and flare up
All the world`s gonna stare up
Looking down
You`ll never see me
Try the sky
`Cause that`ll be me
I can make `em cry
I can make `em sigh
Someday they`ll clamor
For my dram-er
Have you guessed yet
Who`s the best yet
If you ain`t I`ll tell you one more time
You bet yer last dime
In all the world so far
She`s the greatest, greatest
Funny, life is far from sunny
When the laugh is over
And the jokes on you
Well, a girl`s gotta have a sense of humor
That`s one things you really needs for sure
When you`re a funny girl
The fellow said A funny girl
Funny, how it ain`t so funny girl
They`re the luckiest people in the world
With one person, one very special person
A feeling deep in your soul says
You were half, now you`re whole
No more hunger and thirst
But first be a person who needs people
People who need people
Are the luckiest people in the world
