State Of Grace — текст песни (No Means No)

first i told myself there was no more than the sound of the wind through an open door, and if no one entered it was no crime---at least it was none of mine, and all i saw i kept at bay, an empty heart in an empty place, there was no reason for me to live, i had nothing to give, nothing to give i closed my eyes and to my surprise, my heart was beating i was still alive was there really nothing that i could do? no, it can`t be true! i`ve been lying to myself, lying to myself for so long i`ve been lying to myself, lying to myself and it can`t go on cause i`m lying in state, i`m lying in a state of grace and it can`t go on at first i tried to blame the world for all the evils that were unfurled, flags of sin blowing in the wind over church and state, the rich and the great, but when i listened all i really heard was my own voice and my own words, sometimes begging for love, sometimes screaming with hate, screaming with hate i don`t trust the voice in my head it`s not mine, it`s the voice of the dead! and why do you ask me what i think is true? i learned it all from you! i`ve been lying to myself, lying to myself for so long i`ve been lying to myself, lying to myself and it can`t go on cause i`m lying in state, i`m lying in a state of grace and it can`t go on in the end, you are my only friend and all is see is you, and all i have to give, my friend, i will give it to you. who do i mean? who am i talking about? how could it be more plain? wake up. look in your heart. who are you? what is your name? if i take a shit in your perfect world it`s only so you`ll know me by my smell and though you turn away like you don`t understand you know all too well you don`t want to look, you don`t want to touch you don`t want pay cause it costs so much you just smile and wish me well you can go to hell! cause i`m lying in state, i`m lying in a state of grace and it can`t go on