Dee Wee (My Friend the Massive Idiot) — текст песни (Adam Sandler)

He said he`d be here at seven
The clock just hit 7:22
It`s too cold outside
To wait for my ride
Watching mama try out a new doo (Bruins)

He said he`d be here at seven
But it just hit 7:35 (already?)
Here in Brockton, Mass.,
I got my thumb in my ass
Mama`s combing up a big beehive (Celtics)

Where the fuck is he?
Where the fuck is he?

The bitch doesn`t even bother calling
Even though it`s 7:44 (I fell asleep, pally)
I`m feeling kinda antsy
Mama`s getting fancy
Slicking back a wet pompadour (Red Sox)

He said he`d be here at seven
It`s closing in on 8:01 (Trimmin` the �stache, kid)
Me lookin` like a sap
In a wool knit cap
Mama`s next move is a bun (fuckin` Patriots)

Where the fuck is he? (My pants are still in the dryer, dude)
Where the fuck is he? (I couldn`t find my fuckin` snowboots, pal)
I wish I had a car (Huge, huge hangover)
Oh, no (Massive hailstorm, massive hailstorm, massive)

That stupid little punk
He`s probably fuckin` drunk
I bet he drank a case
Wanna pop him in the face right now
Mama`s eyebrow

Wicked good
Wicked good (Oh, GOD)
Wicked good
Wicked good (Fuck yeah)
Wicked good
Wicked good (Pisser?)

Well my friend is still a no-show
And I`m getting` fucking pissed (Why?)
�Cause I could`ve gone with Charlie
In the side of his Harley
Mama`s on the phone with a stylist (Fuck Charlie!)

So I guess I ain`t going out tonight
�Cause the digits say 12:09 (Shit-faced)
But call the operator
�Cause one perm later
Mama`s hair sure do look fine (Heffenreffer!!!)

Where the fuck is he? (Ah, ha ha! My stepfather was tellin` me a wicked funny
joke!)
Where the fuck is he? (Ah, ha ha! I forgot it though…)

I wish I had a car
I wish I had a car (A cop pulled me over, buddy)

I wish I went with Charlie (5.2 blood level, state record)
I could have gone with Charlie (I`m in a wicked mess of trouble, haha!)

He gotta dee wee
He gotta dee wee
He gotta dee wee
He got a D.W.I. (Up the river [repeat 9x])