1-900-LL Cool J — текст песни (LL Cool J)

{*phone rings twice*}
Yo.. Hello 1-900-LL Cool J?
Yeah whassup? Can you please bust a funky rhyme for me?
Yeah I can do that, check this one out honey

I motivate, accelerate
Devestate, and dominate
I don`t smoke crack so I won`t lose weight
Give me the {pussy} and the money and the mic and I`m straight
Go to a resteraunt, give me steak
Then cook my chicken with Shake`n`Bake
I leave all the preachin to Reverand Flake
How much money can one black man make? Huh
I`m what`s known as a true dynamiter
I write rhymes fast without a typewriter
Go with the flow, but no, I`m not a biter
Can`t compare a cock-a-roach and a spider
Hell, you might as well get a glass of punch
cause you`re bitin my lyrics like a Nestle Crunch, huh
And bitin my rhymes ain`t slick
I got your gold teeth marks all over my {*phone rings*}
Complications and aggravation
An unnecessary-sation
I`m like Sunkist, good vibrations
Your al-blum, sounds like a compilation
Cool out, grab a seat and listen..
cause I`ma start dismissin
sucker MC`s who`s out there frontin
Talkin all that yang, yo you smokin somethin
Shoulda treated me royal, yo he wasn`t loyal
Now it`s all about chaos and turmoil
.. gimme that microphone
I`ma show you the real meaning of the danger zone

{*phone rings*}
Yo.. Hello is this 1-900-LL Cool J?
Yeah whassup? Can you tell me what you do when you`re coolin out?
Yo check this out

Now when I`m coolin out, no time for a granny
Just a fly girl in t-shirt and panties
Can LL {*censored*}? Man, can he?
I tell you what, give up the fanny
Cause on a bedroom tomb, J swift
Not too big, but nothin to play with
In addition, you on a mission
You need to audition for another position
Doin damage is a crew tradition
Name your next al-blum intermission
You`re full of preservatives -- plus,
you`re too conservative
I`m full of flair, savoir faire, debonairre
There`s no competition, for this here
So don`t waste your time and breath
I`m givin you all a big F
MC`s I envelop..
.. as the song goes on, the rhyme develops
I`m asiatic, acrobatic, charismatic
You don`t want no static
Anyway, I ain`t havin it!
When I see the microphone -- I`m grabbin it
Plug it in and take charge
LL XL, Xtra-Large
KnowhatI`msayin? Peace

{*phone rings three times*}
Hello?
Hello whassup girl?
How you doin girl? I been tryin to call you all day
Word up I was talkin to LL he was kickin some mo` HYPED up rhymes to me
Word, I spoke to him today too - them rhymes WAS pumpin
Well not to cut you short but I gotta go cause my man is here
Alright
See-ya