Date: Mon, 22 Apr 96 10:50:24 +0100
From: Mungo Henning
Oldest Swinger In Town - D. O`Leary & The Bards
[Chords are a guess on my part; lyrics kindly provided by a friend
that transcribed them from listening to a tape. Corrections welcomed,
I thought folks would enjoy such an amusing song... :-)
I feel as if part of this song ought to be some sort of chorus, but the
truth defeats my memory, so heeeeeeelp please :-)
Mungo Henning]
C G7 C
When you`re scoring with a chick in a disco bar,
F C
Take her home in your hairy little car,
E Am F
Then you find you went to school with her ma and pa,
C G7
You`re the oldest swinger in town.
When you won`t look in the mirror in the light of day,
Swear you`ve dyed it when your hair turns grey,
When you zip up your trousers and your belly`s in the way,
You`re the oldest swinger in town.
Here you come and there you go,
White wheels, spots, and a stereo,
But the engine is jacked and the driver is too,
You`re the oldest swinger in town.
The barber takes a little less time each week,
The kids don`t understand a word you speak,
When you walk into a disco and they offer you a seat,
You`re the oldest swinger in town.
You prefer a pint of shandy to Bacardi and Coke,
The sounds are too loud, there`s too much smoke,
You`d like another dance, but you`re afraid you`ll get a stroke,
You`re the oldest swinger in town.
Here you come with your chest all bare,
A little gold ingot and a lot of gold hair,
Like the disco king meets Yogi Bear,
You`re the oldest swinger in town.
When you`re feeling as stiff as a skinhead`s boot,
Rub on Vick`s where you used to splash Brut,
And the latest punk fashion is your wedding suit,
You`re the oldest swinger in town.
When you have to go shopping for your sex appeal,
Travolta`s shades and nine inch heels,
They say a man is just as old as the woman he feels,
You`re the oldest swinger in town.
Here you come with your lips closed tight,
You never smile, you know it wouldn`t look right,
Cause your dentures glow in ultraviolet light,
You`re the oldest swinger in town.
And you look so mean,
Cause your pants is too tight,
You`re the oldest swinger in town.
And it takes you all night,
To do what you used to do all night,
You`re the oldest swinger in town.
