As I went home on Monday night as drunk as drunk could be
I saw a horse outside the door where my old horse should be
Well, I called me wife and I said to her: Will you kindly tell to me
Who owns that horse outside the door where my old horse should be?
Ah, you`re drunk,
you`re drunk you silly old fool,
still you can not see
That`s a lovely sow that me mother sent to me
Well, it`s many a day I`ve travelled a hundred miles or more
But a saddle on a sow sure I never saw before
And as I went home on Tuesday night as drunk as drunk could be
I saw a coat behind the door where my old coat should be
Well, I called me wife and I said to her: Will you kindly tell to me
Who owns that coat behind the door where my old coat should be
Ah, you`re drunk,
you`re drunk you silly old fool,
still you can not see
That`s a woollen blanket that me mother sent to me
Well, it`s many a day I`ve travelled a hundred miles or more
But buttons in a blanket sure I never saw before
And as I went home on Wednesday night as drunk as drunk could be
I saw a pipe up on the chair where my old pipe should be
Well, I called me wife and I said to her: Will you kindly tell to me
Who owns that pipe up on the chair where my old pipe should be
Ah, you`re drunk,
you`re drunk you silly old fool,
still you can not see
That`s a lovely tin whistle that me mother sent to me
Well, it`s many a day I`ve travelled a hundred miles or more
But tobacco in a tin whistle sure I never saw before
And as I went home on Thursday night as drunk as drunk could be
I saw two boots beneath the bed where my old boots should be
Well, I called me wife and I said to her: Will you kindly tell to me
Who owns them boots beneath the bed where my old boots should be
Ah, you`re drunk,
you`re drunk you silly old fool,
still you can not see
They`re two lovely Geranium pots me mother sent to me
Well, it`s many a day I`ve travelled a hundred miles or more
But laces in Geranium pots I never saw before
And as I went home on Friday night as drunk as drunk could be
I saw a head upon the bed where my old head should be
Well, I called me wife and I said to her: Will you kindly tell to me
Who owns that head upon the bed where my old head should be
Ah, you`re drunk,
you`re drunk you silly old fool,
still you can not see
That`s a baby boy that me mother sent to me
Well, it`s many a day I`ve travelled a hundred miles or more
But a baby boy with his whiskers on sure I never saw before
And as I went home on Saturday night as drunk as drunk could be
I saw two hands upon her breasts where my old hands should be
Well, I called me wife and I said to her: Will you kindly tell to me
Who owns them hands upon your breasts where my old hands should be
Ah, you`re drunk,
you`re drunk you silly old fool,
still you can not see
That`s a lovely night gown that me mother sent to me
Well, it`s many a day I`ve travelled a hundred miles or more
But fingers in a night gown sure I never saw before
As I went home on Sunday night as drunk as drunk could be
I saw a thing in her thing where my old thing should be
Well, I called me wife and I said to her: Will you kindly tell to me
Who owns that thing in your thing where my old thing should be
Ah, you`re drunk,
you`re drunk you silly old fool,
still you can not see
That`s a lovely tin whistle that me mother sent to me
Well, it`s many a day I`ve travelled a hundred miles or more
But hair on a tin whistle sure I never saw before
