There`s a few things I haven`t told you
And before you hear them from someone else
To clear up misconceptions
I`d rather tell you myself
There was a time
I rode a roller coaster
From Coney Island to Key West
I held on with one finger
So the other ten could rest
It may be hard to believe
Hard to comprehend
But baby, you didn`t know me when
I played third chair trombone
In an out-of-work polka band
We looked for gigs on ships
In countries that had no land
It may be hard to believe
We hit the top ten
But baby, you didn`t know me when
If you want a resume I`ll put it in writing
It`s only good for a day and the contents are frightening
I gave long-winded speeches
I was a head-of-state
I wrote an endless novel
Called See Jane Love And Hate
It may be hard to believe
I`m reticent
But baby, you didn`t know me when