Desperate — текст песни (Suburban Legends)

What the hell is wrong with me?
I`m in a band, ladies can`t you see
Please don`t judge me by the car that I drive
Or the fact that I haven`t had a date since `95

Come on, don`t go away
Don`t listen to your friends when they that I am gay
I try so hard but I just can`t get no play
Don`t have any STDs
Come on, I`m begging on my knees
Come on get close just ignore the fleas

We will take anything that walks . . .
Because we`re desperate

I know I`m not a handsome man
Cuz I look like an ogre with a farmer`s tan
And every time the ladies see me and I`m walking their way
They say, "Brian smells, everybody stay away"

Oh ladies, can`t you see
I can`t help it because I`m ugly
But I`m in a band, don`t that count for something
Come on now, don`t delay
Cuz if you don`t call then I`ll probably rent-a-date
And my tab keeps rising, cuz I do it every day
Oh ladies, can`t you see
I`m in a band, why aren`t you attracted to me?
I don`t care if you`re underage
Just as long as you`ll be seen with me in a public place
What`s it gonna take? (What`s it gonna take?)
For you help me bake cookies?
Doo-Wah-Doo
Cuz I need to know
I`m all hot and ready
And I got to go . . .
Because we`re Desperate

Why oh why must I have this rash
No girls talk to me they just step back
Should I lift weights? Would that make me more sexual?
Maybe wear glasses would that make me intellectual?
Come on lets do it fast
Cuz I`m all hot and ready and it just wont last
And I got 20 dollars what can I get for that?