Failure With Girls — текст песни (macc lads)

I`ve got an ugly face,
With spots all over the place,
I haven`t got any mates,
And me clothes have gone out of date.
I go to the pub on me own,
And I drink me orange alone,
I sit and stare at the crack,
But they just turn their backs.
I want to chat them up,
But I stare at me feet,
And then I go home and I beat me meat.
I`m dead shy about the size of me dick,
And chips and gravy make me sick.
I`m a failure with girls,
I don`t know why,
He`s a failure with girls,
He don`t know why.
I`m a failure with girls,
They`re so unkind,
He`s a failure with girls,
They`re so unkind.
I`m a failure with girls,
They make me cry,
He`s a failure with girls,
They make him cry.
Only wish I could say that I don`t mind.
A Macc Lad of me took note,
And he poured a pint of bitter down me throat,
It were the first pint I ever had,
And I changed to a real Macc Lad.
Me clothes started looking real flash,
I got a tattoo and a moustache,
And me car got a go-faster stripe,
And now I pull crack every night.
And I`m not weak anymore,
`Cos me dick measures three foot four,
So don`t you call me wimp,
`Cos it`s three foot four even when it`s limp.
I`m dead macho with girls,
I never fail,
He`s dead macho with girls,
He nevers fails.
I`m dead macho with girls
`Cos I sup ale,
He`s dead macho with girls
`Cos he sups ale.
I`m dead macho with girls
Thanks to Willies,
He`s dead macho with girls
Thanks to Willies.
Only wish I didn`t have VD...