Intro: cause these are the tales, the freaky tales
These are the tales that I cherrish so well.
You dont like my dirty rap, you can go to hell
Cause short dogs on the mic spittin cocktales.
Verse1: h - e - a - d
All you washed up girls tryin to throw that p.
Youre just a big freak, you better not complain
When you hear these cocktales and you hear your name.
If youre takin, it aint no thing
Ill pick up the phone and call janine.
If I call marie, I know for a fact
Ill get worked in my drop top cadillac.
I met this freak -- named naomi
Straight head doctor, worked me and my homies.
She had a best friend, her name was vicki
I pulled her to the side and let her lick me.
She was fine as hell, but not fine and tina
Tina, tina, the dick cleana!
I took her to my house and I told her, "strip!"
Baby got freaky -- started doing the splits.
I said, "tina, you can do what you want
Cause a true blue mack wont even front."
I *** with my ***, she tried to ***
She was so ***, wouldnt give me none.
Im sir too $hort couldnt be no punk
Im trying to get funky cause I love the funk.
Minus *** and her man had a little one
I didnt *** freaky ass, but it was still fun.
I know you stop and wonder what it is
Its the california lifestyle that I live.
Roll em up fat and take me a puff
And tell everybody about this freaky stuff.
I know this girl name annette
Get her all alone and shell do like this.
Shell freak you -- wont say no at all
Get her all alone and shell have a ball.
I know another freak, her names jo ann
I always like to *** cause I know I can.
Finest thing around, aint got no man
Everytime she cross my mind, I go *** again.
Shes like another freak named christine
So damn dumb, I named her misdemeanor.
Cause it had to be a crime to be dumb
I toll her to my house and she let me cumm
In her mouth -- you know I work all in tip
She got my number, if she beeps me, Im a call the trick.
And go diggin them gutts like the gardener
If she starts screamin, Im a hump a little harder.
Chorus: cause these are the tales, the freaky tales
These are the tales that I cherrish so well.
You dont like my dirty rap, you can go to hell
Cause short dogs on the mic spittin cocktales.
Verse2: I meet the groupies -- hookers like cathy
Fuck a mc cause shes so nasty.
See her backstage tryin to throw that ass
Shes just like the freaks, so she had to pass
Me that funk -- you cant stop this
Just let her roll on voes and drop her quick.
My name is short, my game is long
I freak these freaks and sang these songs.
I know another girl named stephanie
Do anything she can to have sex with me.
She really doesnt bring out the best in me
But, I love her fine ass laying next to me.
Shes like another freak name nicole
So damn sprung on my diamonds and gold.
I took her to my house, she gave me the panties
I dicked her so good, she told her friend name angie.
Angie called me up about 2 weeks later
Came by the house and said do my player.
So, I dicked her just like tamara
Taking naked pictures with my polaroid camera.
Next they told her friend name rocquelle
Got my skin all under her fingernails.
While she was diggin in my back, I was dickin it
That was way back when, now I cant find the trick.
But if I do, Ill probably do the same again
Break her ass for everything, cause I came to pimp.
Im too $hort baby, I dont stop mackin
I grab the microphone and I dont stop rappin.
You can bet your life as I spit these raps
Ill be funkin em up like that..... bitch
