MARK
The lot. Where a stage is partially set up
JOANNE
Mark?
MARK
Hi
JOANNE
I Told Her Not To Call You
MARK
That`s Maureen
But Can I Help Since I`m Here
JOANNE
I Hired An Engineer ...
MARK
Great!
Well, Nice To Have Met You
JOANNE
Wait!
She`s Three Hours Late
The Samples Wont Delay
But The Cable -
MARK
There`s Another Way
Say Something - Anything
JOANNE
Test - On, Two Three ...
MARK
Anything But That
JOANNE
This Is Weird
MARK
It`s Weird
JOANNE
Very Weird
MARK
Fuckin` Weird
JOANNE
I`m So Mad
That I Don`t Know What To Do
Fighting With Microphones
Freezing Down To My Bones
And To Top It All Off
I`m With You
MARK
Feel Like Going Insane?
Got A Fire In Your Brain?
And Your Thinking Of Drinking
Gasoline?
JOANNE
As A Matter Of Fact --
MARK
Honey, I Know This Act
It`s Called The `Tango Maureen`
The Tango Maureen
It`s A Dark, Dizzy
Merry-Go-Round
As She Keeps You Dangling
JOANNE
You`re Wrong
MARK
Your Heart She Is Mangling
JOANNE
It`s Different With Me
MARK
And You Toss And You Turn
`Cause Her Cold Eyes Can Burn
Yet You Yearn And You Churn And Rebound
JOANNE
I Think I Know What You Mean
BOTH
The Tango Maureen
MARK
Has She Ever
Pouted Her Lips
And Called You `Pookie`
JOANNE
Never
MARK
Have You Ever Doubted A Kiss Or Two?
JOANNE
This Is Spooky
Did You Swoon
When She Walked Through The Door?
MARK
Every Time - So Be Cautious
JOANNE
Did She Moon Over Other Boys--?
MARK
More Than Moon--
JOANNE
I`m Getting Nauseous
(They dance)
MARK
It`s hard to do this backwards
JOANNE
You should try it in heels!
She Cheated
MARK
She Cheated
JOANNE
Maureen Cheated
MARK
Fuckin` Cheated
JOANNE
I`m Defeated
I Should Give Up Right Now
MARK
Gotta Look On The Bright Side
With All Of Your Might
JOANNE
I`d Fall For Her Still Anyhow
BOTH
When Your Dancing Her Dance
You Don`t Stand A Chance
Her Grip Of Romance
Makes You Fall
MARK
So You Think, `Might As Well`
JOANNE
Dance A Tango To Hell
BOTH
`At Least I`ll Have Tangoed At All`
The Tango Maureen
Gotta Dance Til Your Diva Is Through
You Pretend To Believe Her
Cause In The End - You Can`t Leave Her
But The End It Will Come
Still You Have To Play Dumb
Til You`re Glum And You Bum
And Turn Blue
MARK
Why Do We Love When She`s Mean?
JOANNE
And She Can Be So Obscene
MARK
Try The Mike
JOANNE
My Maureen (een, een, een...)
MARK
Patched
JOANNE
Thanks
MARK
You Know - I Feel Great Now!
JOANNE
I Fell Lousy
BOTH
The Tango: Maureen!
