[Sound of crickets. Guy walks across grass]
[Joe:] "Hey pal! How ya doin?"
[M2:] "I`m so wasted, man."
[Joe:] "Yeah, you are, oh ho ho!"
[M2:] "Thanks man."
[Joe:] "It`s good party, huh?"
[M2:] "Oh, it`s great man."
[Joe:] "Hey that`s some good acid, huh?"
[M2:] "Oh, killer man."
[Joe:] "Hey, my pleasure."
[M2:] "I`ve never been higher."
[Joe:] "Oh ho, you must be freaking out."
[M2:] "Acid`s great man."
[Joe:] "It`s the best."
[M2:] "Everytime I do acid man, I`m so high."
[Joe:] "Yeah, oh, you must be flipping out right now."
[M2:] "This is the best acid, man."
[Joe:] "What are you seein, man?"
[M2:] "Oh, I, that cloud up there, man."
[Joe:] "Whoa"
[M2:] "It`s got a vein in it."
[Joe:] "Oh-Holy Cow! Really!?"
[M2:] "And it`s bleeding on me, man."
[Joe:] "It`s bleeding on ya? Well watch out!"
[M2:] "Look at my hand, man."
[Joe:] "Yeah?"
[M2:] "It-It`s moving, but it`s not moving."
[Joe:] "It`s not?"
[M2:] "It`s still there, but it looks like it`s moving."
[Joe:] "Hey, yeah to you it is."
[M2:] "I`m so high."
[Joe:] "Yeah, you must be flipping out."
[M2:] "I`m flipping out off it."
[Joe:] "Hallucinations, man."
[M2:] "Acid..right."
[Joe:] "Hey, I got some news fer ya."
[M2:] "I`m seeing stuff, man."
[Joe:] "Yeah, yer seeing stuff."
[M2:] "RIght."
[Joe:] "Well, that`s what happens when you take acid, but
you know what?"
[M2:] "What man?"
[Joe:] "Uhhh, that really wasn`t acid.
That was just a little piece of paper I ripped off of my notebook."
[Silence]
[M2:] "Wha? It`s probly this weed I`m smokin`, man."
[Joe:] "Oh, that weed."
[M2:] "That Thai bud, man."
[Joe:] "Whoa."
[M2: Laughing] "Everything`s hilarious."
[Joe: Laughing] "That`s funny man. Look at that guy."
[M2: Laughing] "That`s funny man."
[Joe: Laughing] "Look at that guy`s hat man."
[M2: Laughing] "Everything`s funny to me, man."
[Joe:] "Right. Hey, how man bones didya smoke? A few joints,
man?"
[M2:] "I had about four."
[Joe:] "Whoa, that`s a lot of bones to be smokin`, man."
[M2:] "The whole thing`s man."
[Joe:] "Yeah, you sucked `em down yerself."
[M2:] "Ain`t that hilarious!?"
[Joe:] "You didn`t wanna share, didja?"
[M2:] "It was great stuff, man."
[Joe:] "Aww, yeah, hey I got some news on that stuff too."
[M2:] "Hey what man?"
[Joe:] "That`s the stuff I sold you, right?
[M2:] "Yeah, right."
[Joe:] "Yeah"
[M2:] "It`s funny, man."
[Joe:] "Well, well, uh.."
[M2:] "I`m wasted off it, man."
[Joe:] "Yeah, well that`s good. You smoked it, right?"
[M2:] "Right."
[Joe:] "Well that really wans`t weed."
[Pause]
[Joe:] "No it wasn`t, it was pencil shavings in a bag."
[Silence]
[Joe:] "Yeah."
[M2:] "Well, it`s probably this beer.
This beer I`m drinking, man. I must be drunk off it or something.
Ya know, I had about eighteen of them, man."
[Joe:] "Whoa, oh really!?"
[M2:] "I`m just..wasted off `em."
[Joe:] "That`s a lot of beer for a man to drink."
[M2:] "Man, I gotta pea pretty soon, man."
[Joe:] "You didn`t dump `em out in the woods, didja?"
[M2:] "No..no..no.. I drank all of them."
[Joe:] "Right, yeah. I saw you..that`s good. Hey didja eat
today?"
[M2:]"No, I`m on an empty stomach."
[Joe:] "Whoa, you must be ..yea.. extra buzz for you."
[M2:] "..And that`s why I`m so wasted off it man, it`s like
I`m seeing things, man."
[Joe:] "Yeah, you can hardly stand, man."
[M2:] "You should take my car keys, cuz I can`t drive, man."
[Joe:] "Right, right."
[M2:] "I can barely walk."
[Joe:] "Hey man, you better open those eyes up, they`re
half shut."
[M2:] "There`s two of you, man. I can`t see anymore, man,
I`m blind!"
[Joe:] "Right.. I got the beers, huh? I`m the man, right?"
[M2:] "Yeah, you are the man."
[Joe:] "Say it. Say I`m the man."
[M2:] "Yer da man!!"
[Joe:] "Okay, well that beer.."
[M2:] "Yeah?"
[Joe:] "There was no alcohol in that beer."
[Pause]
[Joe:] "That was non-alcoholic.
So..uhh..again, I`m gonna have to bust you on this one.
You`re lying."
[Silence]
[M2: Mumbling] "I`ll be right back."
[Joe:] "Ok, buddy, you go sober up."
[Walking different directions, gun goes off]
[Joe:] "Oh my God! He killed himself! He killed himself!"
[Runs over]
[Joe:] "Oh my God! You killed yerself, buddy."
[M2:] "Yeah, I`m dead, man."
[Joe:] "Oh my, oh yer dead."
[M2:] "Yeah, I`m dead, man."
[Joe:] "That is awefull."
[M2:] "There`s a big white light and everything, man."
[Joe:] "Yeah! Well you showed us all, man."
[M2:] "Oh man, I`m so peaceful here man."
[Joe:] "Yeah, you see anything weird, or.."
[M2:] "My relatives, man, a big white light, and my grandfather`s
there and.."
[Joe:] "Ooooh, I remember him, he`s a good guy."
[M2:] "He`s still wearing the same clothes, and.."
[Joe:] "Hey, say hello fer me, huh?"
[M2:] "Hey man, Joe says hi, man."
[Joe: Chuckling] "Right."
[M2:] "It`s yeah..My uncle`s here and..."
[Joe:] "Right..right.. Hey I got some news for ya. This
is so funny."
[M2:] "Yeah? What, man?"
[Joe:] "Yeah, yeah, before you go, up to heaven.
The gun, you killed yerself with, that`s the one I sold you, right?"
[M2:] "Yeah."
[Joe:] "Yeah, well that was a cap gun.
So, there`s no way you could have killed yourself."
[Pause]
[Joe:] "Yeah, that`s right, ok.. I`m going back to the party.
Ok, take care."
[Walks back]
[M2: Whimpering and crying] "I`m moving to a different town man."
[Four weeks later]
[Pouring drink]
[M2:] "Oh this beer is great, man.
This tequila is really strong, man.
It`s got a worm, and everything in it, man."
[Buffoon:] "Fuckin` shit!"
[M2:] "All being in the sun, you`re even more wasted.
Fuckin` shit is right, man!
I am totally wasted now, man.
I should maybe get an umbrella or something and go in the shade."
[Buffoon:] "I know a guy who can suck his own dick."
[M2:] "Yeah, I know a guy who can do that too.
He`s the drummer from Molly Hatchet and one night we had two
cases of Southern Comfort, man.
We were so wasted off it.
I`m serious man."
