I got to Kansas City on a Frid`y
By Sattidy I larned a thing or two
For up to then I didn`t have an idy
Of whut the modren world was comin` to!
I counted twenty gas buggies goin` by theirsel`s
Almost ev`ry time I tuk a walk.
`Nen I put my ear to a Bell Telephone and a strange womern started in to talk!
(Whut next! Yeak whut!)
Whut next?
Ev`rythin`s up to date in Kansas City
They`ve gone about as fur as they c`n go!
They went and built a skyscraper seven stories high,
About as high as a buildin` orta grow.
Ev`rythin`s like a dream in Kansas City,
It`s better than a magic lantern show!
Y` c`n turn the radiator on whenever you want some heat.
With ev`ry kind o` comfort ev`ry house is all complete.
You c`n walk to privies in the rain and never wet your feet!
They`ve gone about as fur as they c`n go,
(Yes sir!)
They`ve gone about as fur as they c`n go!
Ev`rythin`s up to date in Kansas City
They`ve gone about as fur as they c`n go!
They got a big theayter they call a burlesque.
Fer fifty cents you c`n see a dandy show.
One of the gals was fat and pink and pretty,
As round above as she was round below.
I could swear that she was padded from her shoulder to her heel,
But latter in the second act when she began to peel
She proved that ev`rythin` she had was absolutely real!
She went about as fur as she could go,
(Yes sir!)
She went about as fur as she could go!