I was lonelier than Kunta Kinte at a Merle Haggard concert that
night I strolled on into Uncle Limpy`s Hump Palace lookin` for
love. It had been a
while. In fact, three hundred and sixty-five had come and went
since that midnight run haulin` hog to Shakey Town on I-10. I
had picked up this
hitchhiker that was sweatin` gallons through a pair of Daisy
Duke cut-offs and one of those Fruit Of The Loom tank-tops. Well,
that night I lost myself
to ruby red lips, milky white skin and baby blue eyes. Name was Russell.
Yes a lap dance is so much better when the stripper is cryin`
Yes a lap dance is so much better when the stripper is cryin`
Well I find it`s quite a thrill
When she grinds me against her will
Yes a lap dance is so much better when the stripper is cryin`
Well, faster than you can say, shallow grave, this pretty little
thing come up to me and starts kneadin` my balls like hard-boiled
eggs in a tube sock.
Said her name was Bambi and I said, Well that`s a coincidence
darlin`, `cause I was just thinkin` about skinnin` you like a
deer. Well she smiled,
had about as much teeth as a Jack-O-Lantern, and I went on to
tell her how I would wear her face like a mask as I do my little
kooky dance. And
then she told me to shush. I guess she could sense my desperation.
`Course, it`s hard to hide a hard-on when you`re dressed like
Minnie Pearl.
Yes a lap dance is so much better when the stripper is cryin`
Yes a lap dance is so much better when the stripper is cryin`
Well I find it`s quite a thrill
When she grinds me against her will
Yes a lap dance is so much better when the stripper is cryin`
So, Bambi`s goin` on about how she can make all my fantasies
come true. So I says, Even this one I have where Jesus Christ
is jackhammering
Mickey Mouse in the doo-doo hole with a lawn dart as Garth Brooks
gives birth to something resembling a cheddar cheese log with
almonds on
Santa Claus`s tummy-tum? Well, ten beers, twenty minutes and
thirty dollars later I`m parkin` the beef bus in tuna town if
you know what I mean.
Got to nail her back at her trailer. Heh. That rhymes. I have
to admit it was even more of a turn-on when I found out she was
doin` me to buy baby
formula.
Yes a lap dance is so much better when the stripper is cryin`
Yes a lap dance is so much better when the stripper is cryin`
Well I find it`s quite a thrill
When she grinds me against her will
Yes a lap dance is so much better when the stripper is cryin`
Day or so had passed when I popped the clutch, gave the tranny
a spin and slid on into The Stinky Pinky Gulp N` Guzzle Big Rig
Snooze-A-Stop.
There I was browsin` through the latest issue of Throb, when
I saw Bambi starin` at me from the back of a milk carton. Well,
my heart just dropped.
So, I decided to do what any good Christian would. You can not
imagine how difficult it is to hold a half gallon of moo juice
and polish the
one-eyed gopher when your doin` seventy-five in an eighteen-wheeler.
I never thought missing children could be so sexy. Did I say
that out loud?
Yes a lap dance is so much better when the stripper is cryin`
Yes a lap dance is so much better when the stripper is cryin`
Well I find it`s quite a thrill
When she grinds me against her will
Yes a lap dance is so much better when the stripper is cryin`
