(difford/tilbrook)
Im faced with the facts
And a fist full of threats
I stand quite amused
At the end of the bed
I have no defense
For what I have said
As a handful of love
Whacks me right round the head
Shes growling and stalking
And grabs from a pile
A book that she throws
And it missed by a mile
Im holding a pillow
And as naked as sin
Im backed to a corner
With a wastepaper bin
Then up on the mattress
Theres no place to go
Im guilty yes guilty
But theres no place like home
I rewind the hours
To see what went wrong
I plead for forgiveness
And Im hit like a gong
It seems that Im guilty
Of smiling too long
When recalling lovers
That now are long gone
Im guilty youre guilty
So let me be stoned
The past is the present
When theres no place like home
Off with the shoes
And a whack round the head
Your ear rings like a phone
Some explanation
Might patch and mend
A love thats lost control
Now theres no place like home