Cuz I`m the high plains drifter, and I`m the drifter
The high plains drifter, and I`m the drifter
They can`t find me they`re never gonna catch me
They`re never gonna know that I`m the high plains drifter
Pulled over to the river, to take a rest
Pulled out a pair of pliers pulled a bullet out of my chest
Fear and loathing `cross the country listenin` to my 8-track
I reached behind the seat and snatched a Kool from the pack
I`m long-distance from my girl and I`m talking on my cellular
She said that she was sorry and I said yeah the hell you were
check the rear view mirror check the gold tooth display
check the odometer and I was on my way
Cuz I`m the high plains drifter the best that you can get
A strapped shoplifter a pirate on cassette
Bust a Travis Bickle when I feel that I`m getting pushed
Don`t step to me cuz you could be gettin` mushed
I`m doing 120 plowin` over mailboxes
Radar detector to tell me where the cops is
Spend another night at the Motel 6
It`s five dollars extra to get the porno flicks
And then I concoct a black and tan in my brandy snifter
I`ma kleptomaniac K-mart shoplifter
Cash flow gettin low so I had to pull a job
Found a nice place to visit but a better place to rob
I left the car outside and the engine still revving
Time to take care of business at 7-eleven
And the I went inside to make my withdrawl
I saw what he had had but I had to take it all
Knuclehead deli tried to gyp me off the price
So I clocked him on the turban with a bag of ice
Cuz I mellow like Jell-O cool like lemonade
I made my get a way and then I thought that I had it made
I feel like Steve McQueen, a Former movie star
Looked in the rear view mirror seen the police car
Ballentine quarts with the puzzle on the cap
I couldn`t help to notice I was caught in a speed trap
Dirty Mary Crazy Larry on the run from Dirty Harry
Stash the cash in the dash, but my gun I did carry
I`m seeing blue and red flashing deep in the night
I got my alibi straight and I pulled over to the right
The cop knocked on my window and said Boy, where`s the fire?
You got a mailbox on your bumper and a bald front tire
Outta the car longhair! Your goose is cooked
Read me my rights fingerprinted and booked
Making like a DT, driving a grand fury
Wherever I hang my hat`s my home and my past is kind of blurry
Every dog has his day mine will be in front of a jury
High plains drifter you know that I`m never in a hurry
Read me my rights as if I didn`t know this
Threw me in the tank with a drunk called Otis
With his 5 o`clock shadow he smelled of 3 day old beer
My man turned to me and said, Why are you here?
I said I`m charming I`m dashing I`m rental-car bashing
I`m phony-paper passing at Nick`s Check and Cashing
I went before the judge he sent my to the Brooklyn house of D.
He said, You behave or we`ll throw away the key
Houdini`d out the cuffs, kicked the screw in the knee
I took the Bailiff`s wallet and went straight to OTB
I had a good feeling easy come easy go
I bet on one horse to win and another and so
And sure enough, that nag came in
Brought my ticket to the window and collected my win
And I broke into my new car with a wire coat hanger
Hot wired hot wheeled and, Suzy is a headbanger
