Legend In My Spare Time — текст песни (Bloodhound Gang)

Ashes to ashes and funks to funky
Daddy Long Legs is a mean ass honky
And Jimmy Pop ain`t no heiny hobbit gaybe
Ain`t no big meaty chunks in my thick brown graby
Cause I`m the Loch Ness the Loch Ness the Loch Ness monster
Jerry`s kids are knockin` at my door, Could you be a sponsor?
tiny bubbles in my tub pull my finger Lawrence Welk
If you wanna look like Rocky Dennis better drink your milk
When I`m feeling oriental I gotta rub my chin
Gonna hold my water n like I`m Gunga Din
So have a taste of my bass cause the girlies got smiles
You`re getting on my case like the Rockford Files
Crazy Eddie in the slammer cause he`s giving it all away
John boy in the barn with a horse in the hay
No rhyme no reason no job no class
And we don`t go near the ghetto cause they`d shoot our ass
Chorus:
Go go yeah yeah huh what?
I`m a legend in my spare time
(repeat)
If you ain`t ever been to the suburbs
Don`t ever come to the suburbs
ause you wouldn`t understand the suburbs
Cause I` a huskin` a huskin` a huskin` your corn
I`m as deep as the plot to a gay porn
So uh-oh Spaghettios I forgot to hide away the body
I know that she`s a hotty but damn that girl could party
So come to me momma it ain`t no crime
I`m the skilled love doctor growlin` What`s your sign?
I did the flamin` waffle with Ho Chi Min
Your girl`s a dollar bill we don`t know where she`s been
J.F.K.`s head is a puzzle and your woman needs a muzzle
Barbara Eden in the bottle and now I`m gonna guzzle
You`re too what? Shy shy huh what?
Hush hush yea? I knew why
Cause we`re playing the Palladium you can`t get on Star Search
Daddy Legs standing tall he can do the funky Lurch
And Jimmy Jimmy Pop is short for Jimmy Jimmy Popular
You know I know you know you`re not the tough guy that you thought you
were
(Chorus)
Ha cha cha chatch
Come and lick my balls
Vive la my crotch
Cause your daddy thinks I`m lazy your momma thinks I`m crazy
But neither of them know that you are carrying my baby
And I`m the Amos I`m the Andy I`m the sticky Aunt Jemammy
I gave you mouth to mouth like Resuscitation Annie
It takes two of us to do this like Dean Martin Jerry Lewis
And your throat is swollen gloryholen` ya blew us
George Burns` pacemaker beats steady slow and low
That`s why we got more hits then a dealer at a Dead show
(Chorus)