A Lap Dance Is So Much Better When The S — текст песни (Bloodhound Gang)





I was lonelier than Kunta Kinte at a Merle Haggard concert that night I strolled on into Uncle Limpys Hump Palace lookin for love. It had been awhile. In fact, three hundred and sixty-five had come and went since that midnight run haulin hog
to Shakey Town on I-10. I had picked up thishitchhiker that was sweatin gallons through a pair of Daisy Duke cut-offs and one of those Fruit
Of The Loom tank-tops. Well, that night I lost myself toruby red lips, milky white skin and baby blue eyes. Name was Russell.
Yes a lap dance is so much better when the stripper is cryinYes a lap dance is so much better when the stripper is cryinWell I find its quite a thrillWhen she grinds me against her willYes a lap dance is so much better when the stripper is cryin
Well, faster than you can say, shallow grave, this pretty little thing come up to me and starts
kneadin my balls like hard-boiled eggs in a tube sock.Said her name was Bambi and I said, Well thats a coincidence darlin, cause I was just thinkin
about skinnin you like a deer. Well she smiled, hadabout as much teeth as a Jack-O-Lantern, and I went on to tell her how I would wear her face
like a mask as I do my little kooky dance. And then shetold me to shush. I guess she could sense my desperation. Course, its hard to hide a hard-on
when youre dressed like Minnie Pearl.
Yes a lap dance is so much better when the stripper is cryinYes a lap dance is so much better when the stripper is cryinWell I find its quite a thrillWhen she grinds me against her willYes a lap dance is so much better when the stripper is cryin
So, Bambis goin on about how she can make all my fantasies come true. So I says, Even this
one I have where Jesus Christ is jackhammeringMickey Mouse in the doo-doo hole with a lawn dart as Garth Brooks gives birth to something
resembling a cheddar cheese log with almonds onSanta Clauss tummy-tum? Well, ten beers, twenty minutes and thirty dollars later Im parkin
the beef bus in tuna town if you know what I mean. Gotto nail her back at her trailer. Heh. That rhymes. I have to admit it was even more of a turn-on
when I found out she was doin me to buy babyformula.
Yes a lap dance is so much better when the stripper is cryinYes a lap dance is so much better when the stripper is cryinWell I find its quite a thrillWhen she grinds me against her willYes a lap dance is so much better when the stripper is cryin
Day or so had passed when I popped the clutch, gave the tranny a spin and slid on into The
Stinky Pinky Gulp N Guzzle Big Rig Snooze-A-Stop.There I was browsin through the latest issue of Throb, when I saw Bambi starin at me from
the back of a milk carton. Well, my heart just dropped.So, I decided to do what any good Christian would. You can not imagine how difficult it is to
hold a half gallon of moo juice and polish theone-eyed gopher when your doin seventy-five in an eighteen-wheeler. I never thought missing
children could be so sexy. Did I say that out loud?
Yes a lap dance is so much better when the stripper is cryinYes a lap dance is so much better when the stripper is cryinWell I find its quite a thrillWhen she grinds me against her willYes a lap dance is so much better when the stripper is cryin



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