[mr. eon]
Girls, girls, girls, girls
My right hand I adore
Spankin on my sheets till I cant cum no more
Im on a five-a-day plan, then Im switchin hands
Not really carin where my sticky white lands
Im half-asleep, you calm me captain kleenex
Cuz I be cummin on quilts until my dick wilts
Then Im in the shower, jergens and vaseline-a
Right named palmer, left hand wristina
Like the artifacts, I come on wit the cum on
Might jerkin work, lookin up too many skirts
I nut on puffs after I huff the dutch
The ten pack pocket tissue comes in the clutch
So put on the kristy-kenya video
Thats four nuts a day, and one more to go
[el-p]
Check check check check
Dear sir,
I have been an avid reader of your magazine for many years now
But up until today I havent had an experience as really worthy of this column
The solo jux avidly have to repeat
I felt weak, felt like we were havin sex for a week
I wanna spark the bottle, wack it but I dont have a sheet
So inevitably I pull out of the pocket
Just for an example that Im huggin up a plug wit no socket
Now how soundly she slept while I fume
Vexed about the fact I couldnt nut off
Pent up, balls blue, painful
I know that when woke shes disdainful
Time to come up wit plan d for desparation
Pulled out the love monkey and shot off to the titties location
At least in that direction
Upon further inspection, she awoke splashed in the head section
Shook by the goblety goods
"think-i-think I gotta" [q-tip] *cut and scratched*
"just beat it" "jerkin your jimmy but you still cant come off" [phife]
"i thought I had it in the palm of my hand"
"just give me the pussy and Ill be straight
If you dont, fuck it Ill masturbate" [eazy e]
[mr. eon] *rapping in kiddy voice*
All day I like to stroke it, then I poke it
And be like ooh ooh ooh ooh ooh ooh, are you alive little man
Got hands on experience cuz I jerk alot
Exotic hand creams thats what I got
And a porno collection about the size of jada sulton
When I purchase movies, its usually out in fulton
Then I take it home and spank it, and wipe it with a napkin
Yo I love to jerk like ? love to hack
And maybe its a must like a kitty cats purr
Ive been known to fuck my girl than jerk off next to her
Keep it real, yo yo bob stop stop jerkin and come do your lyrics
[bobbito]
I go solo wit my hand so you can call me han solo
Slap my skins, so they call me bobby bongos
Auto-matic, just for my peepee
Hit a vital nerve, lick her tits, curve
Jergens dry, no lotion for my hand motion
Dont cry, dry your eye
Heres a towel, my hands move like constipated bowels
I shoot extra far if a girl talks foul
Choke my chicken, slap my wanker
A girl lets me watch her with her tits out while Im spankin
Then Ill thank her, ah check it out
Im harder than the hardest artist hard can get
Kbl in the place, workin a sweat
Doin beats strokin off until the twinkie gush
Until they amputate my hands I wont sweat the puss
Unless she wants to, then Ill worry about gettin, the monster
So Id rather avoid the unwanted pregnancy
The headaches of an emotional attachment
I live my own fantasy world where anything goes
Besides the longer I go without sex
The closer bobbin my boloney comes to feelin like the real thing
Think twice about walkin barefoot on my bedroom floor
Yo mi, hit me up wit a magazine
Im goin to bed man, Im out
