Now this may sound disgusting an` like very gross
But it`s sure to have your trippin`
So y`all listen close
It`s not bright as the sun or sweet like sugar
But it`s rather on the bug tip and it`s called Pickin` Boogers
Now what I`m emceein` might not seem kosher to you
But it`s still somethin` we all have to do
So go up your nose with a finger or two
And pull out one or a crusty crew
Yo, don`t try to front like it`s so gloomy and gray
`Cause we all pick our boogers sometime every day
Whether out in the open or on a sneak tip
With a finger, tissue, or even a Q-Tip
Take it from the Biz Markie because I`m jokin`
And also, remember this slogan
Hey, ma, what`s for dinner?
Go up your nose and pick yourself a winner
Pickin` Boogers
Pickin` Boogers
Let me tell you what happened on the train, man
I was coolin` one say with my partner Kane
Headed up to the rooftop, ridin` the D train
When the man sittin` next to me was so profane
He`d stick his finger up his nose, then do a drain
(You should `a moved)
I was just about, but al of a suddern, homeboy just pulled out
A big, green, slimey - naw, I`m not even gonna say it
But it weighed a good pound if you tried to weigh it
He sat there for a while with it in his hand
So I tried to play cool like a normal man
So I laid my head back to catch a quick nap
All of a sudden he plucked it dead in my lap
Now Kane sat there laughin` like it was all a joke
But a brother like Biz Markie had almost choked
So I dug up my nose and pulled out about five
And plucked every last one of them dead in his eye
Then the man jumped up and said what`s wrong with you
And wiped `em off his face and said I can`t mess with you
Like if I did somethin` that was so full of shame
But yo, you got to know the name of the game
Pickin` Boogers
Pickin` Boogers
Now let me take you trippin` dow memory lane
Back in public school with my partner Kane
When I was class clown and he was my brotherr
Sittin` at the desk, pluckin` boogers at each other
Never do our work as we were supposed
`Cause we was too busy diggin` up our nose
And in the lunch room, we would talk about rude
God forbid the person that had to leave his food
No matter who you are, we didn`t give a damn
We even put teachers down with the program
Whether it was a woman or if you`re a man
We put boogers in our fingers then shake your hand
Catch anyone from anywhere
But the best part about it`s catchin` Kane out there
Especially we`re out playin` ball in the gym
I put boogers on the basketball and pass it to him
Now we`re grown up and things have changed
But we still be playin` the Pickin` Boogers game
Just last night when Kane was gettin` ready
I slippped a litte green one inside his spaghetti
Pickin` Boogers
Pickin` Boogers
Let me tell you what happened with this girl
One night at Latin Quarters, I was standin` at ease
And saw a gorgeous yound lady that I wanted to skeeze
I didn`t show enough that I really did want it
So, no half-steppin`, I pushed up on it
Pulled out the gold cable and a knot that was fat
Had a spotlight beamin` on my Biz Markie hat
But when she stepped in the light and she got real close
I saw a teeny-weenie booger on the tip of her nose
She was dressed real def and her body was hook
But that dried-up boogeer just ruined the look
I wanted to tell her about it but I couldn`t be bold
So I played it off and said, That`s a cute green mole
I was hopin` from that she wuld wipe it away
But she didn`t do nothin`, I guess she wanted it displayed
I said, Before you get my number I don`t mean to dis you
but write it in your hand because you`re gonna need the tissue
