Grandpa Got Runned Over By A John Deere — текст песни (Cledus T. Judd)

Parody of Grandma Got Run Over By A Reindeer by Elmo & Patsy (R. Brook), Kris Publishing Co./Elmo Publishing (SESAC)
New lyrics by Cledus T. Judd and Bruce Burch, La-Po Music (BMI)/Bruce Burch Publishing (SESAC)

CHORUS
Grandpa got runned over by a John Deere
Walking home from the Moose Lodge Christmas Eve.
Now you can say there`s no such thing as Santa,
But after suing John Deere, I believe...

He`d been a-guzzlin` old Jack Daniels
And smokin` that wacky weed-
He mixed it with his medication
And run off with some bleach-blonde named Bernice.

When we found him Christmas mornin`
We thought he had a heart attack.
But he had tar prints on his forehead
And incriminatin` hickies on his neck.
(ON HIS WHAT???)

CHORUS

But we`re all ashamed of Grandpa.
He took Grandma`s death too well.
Started watchin` porno movies
And engaging in phone sex with Cousin Belle.

It`s a better Christmas without Grandpa
Last year in church, he mooned the choir.
At first, we thought it was Alzheimer`s,
But looking back, we realized he was wired.

CHORUS

Yeah, I filed myself a lawsuit
And they awarded me two mil.
You know Grandpa didn`t leave me nuthin`,
But thanks to that old John Deere, he got killed.

Funny, all my friends and neigh-bras
Turned up on the grand jury,
(laughs) I bribed `em like Johnny Cochran
Did when they set O.J. Simpson free.
GUIL-TY!!!

CHORUS (x2)