Coronary Life — текст песни (Cledus T. Judd)

Parody of Ordinary Life by Chad Brock (Connie Harrington/Bonnie Baker), Magnolia Hill Music (ASCAP) (A division of McSpadden-Smith Music LLC).

New lyrics & music by Cledus T. Judd/Chris Clark, Cledus Crap Anthems (SESAC)/Of Music (SESAC)

Cledus at the kitchen table
Short of breath, legally disabled
Wife walks in, she`s so surprised
Can`t believe I`m still alive
I say I`m hungry for biscuits and gravy
That patty melt that you always made me
But I can`t eat that anymore

They say grease kills;
Tastes good to me
Day in, day out it`s all I eat
My third bypass, unclogged the valves
Just to clog them again
Never felt worse;
A constant thirst
Lordy how my left arm hurts
I blame my job, I blame my wife
For this coronary life

Cledus on the ER table
Vital signs ain`t too stable
Hey, Doc, I`m proud of you
I didn`t think that I`d pull through
Later in Intensive Care
I had the nurses laughing there
So thankful Blue Cross will pay

For the bills, my IVs
Four thousand dollar EKGs
That`s the last time I need
Angioplasty
It`s off I go to Type-O
To improve my cardio
It`s about time I said goodbye
To my coronary life

Sweat`s pouring off me at the health spa
The Stairmaster`s wore me out again
You know I can`t believe how much I miss
The way I used to live

I`d eat red meat,
Pickled pigs feet
Always craving something sweet
My food was fast,
But that`s the past
I can`t eat fat again
Aerobicize,
Reduced my thighs
No more German chocolate pie
I miss my fudge, I miss my fries
And my coronary life