I play practical jokes, just to get a laugh (ha hah)
I put roaches in my neighbors bubblebath
But anyway one day she called upon me
She said, "lyte - its an emergency!"
My next door neighbor had an errand to run
I said, "why ms. davis - ask your son"
She said, "rickys at his grandmothers"
I said, "well what about tommy, the younger brother? "
She said, "see, umm, hes at the pharmacy"
I said, "hell be back soon how much longer could it be? "
She said, "cmon please, its just a trip uptown
If you leave right now youll be back before sundown
Hurry up, theres not a moment to spare
It absolutely positively has to get there"
Umm, I contemplated then I played a good samaritan
I started the car, then she threw the package in
It absolutely positively has to get there
(get there? )
It absolutely positively has to get there
(well then send it federal express!)
It absolutely positively has to get there
(it gotta get there? )
It absolutely positively got to get there!
(yo who you rushin? )
Pumpin out the music on the fdr
Not far behind me was a dt car
So I eased up selector, 55 the digit
But on the fdr, 40 is the limit
Here they come, sirens on
I could see myself in jail til the break of dawn
But they rolled right by it wasnt me they was after
A little red corvette, they was tryin to capture
Dread I feel sweat so I set down my jacket
Look up ahead, now thats what I call traffic
Dipped to an exit and I made my way through
Couldnt believe when I hit first avenue
On a hondas ass, just about to crash
Looked at the gauge and the shit said no gas
Zero, nada, nothing in here see
In car terms the shit was on empty
Got out, and pushed the shit to the side
Hailed a cab, then I caught a quick ride
To the house of inflation, yes the gas station
Gave a little tip to show my appreciation
Got back to the ave where I left my car
It wasnt there, but it couldnt have gone far
Hot damn, I must have got towed
Tried to figure out how much money I owed
Went to the pound and I paid my debt
Think that was the worst? you aint heard nuttin yet
Bumped into that crackhead sam I used to see
And like always, hand out, give me money
In my tank was a dollars worth of gas
I had to get an ? machine fast
It absolutely positively has to get there
(get there? )
It absolutely positively got to get there
(what? )
It absolutely positively got to get there
(well send it some way else)
It absolutely positively has to get there
As I left the bank to walk back to the bm
Couldnt believe what my eyes were seein
Looked at the back tire, it was flate
While the other three, were so damn fat
A brother walked by and offered his help
Ordinarily I woulda did the shit myself
But he, changed it quick, so I passed him a ten
Here I go on this journey again
Went to the gas station, to fill it up
When a crackhead from nowhere grabbed the pump
I said, "look, I dont need your help today"
And I scared the motherfucker and he was on his way
Oops, a cat, shit, scrat!
Fur on my tires, and all that
Whats this, a stroke of bad luck?
But at this point, I dont even give a fuck
I got to get the package to the destination
No matter what the confrontation
I arrive, bag in my hand
Lookin for a woman named pam
She opened the bag it was wrapped tight and snug
But in that bag yo, in that bag
45, guess what? (what was it lyte? )
It was a box of q-tips .. a box of fuckin q-tips man!!!
{*laughter*}
