[ VERSE 1 ]
The President woke and he called the Pope
The Pope climbed to heaven on a golden rope
P.S. the Lord raised Michaelangelo from the dead
So he can make a fresh painting of my head
Then I hung out with a king and a queen
And the queen put me down with her polo team
The way I scored points all around the clock
I had her daughter, the princess ridin my jock
I knocked the freak off like a crazy retard
Then I took a little trip into a deck of cards
The diamond jack joker and the ace of spades
Was amazed at greater Cut Creator on the fade
Then I played cards with the queen of clubs
The queen of hearts with me cold fell in love
As for the queen of diamonds, she don`t like men
Because you know that a diamond is a girl`s best friend
The double-trouble spade was named the deuce
And the joker acted stupid, so we gave him the news
There was 52 cards, and I met everyone
That story is over, but my rhyme ain`t done
[ VERSE 2 ]
Then I took a trip to the center of the earth
I was kinda scared, so E-Love went first
I met these funny little people, they called em skeezers
So I held on to my wallet like Ebeneezer
Tight leather pants that`ll make you grunt
Two nice soft things right up front
The center of the earth ain`t got no crime
Just people bodyrockin to the L.L. rhyme
If you`re kinda confused to what a skeezer is
It`s just a girl who`s on my jock cause I`m in showbiz
There was a whole lotta skeezers, I dogged everyone
That story is over, but my rhyme ain`t done
[ VERSE 3 ]
Woke up late one afternoon
Realized I was in the world of cartoons
He-Man told me he`d beat me up
Because he thought that I looked like Donald Duck
Then I hung out with Spiderman
He told me he was gonna start a comic strip band
The Incredible Hulk was gonna play the drums
Charlie Brown grabbed the guitar and started to strum
Snoopy tried to rock on the microphone
But Tom & Jerry both said he should leave it alone
Then I hung out with Mickey Mouse
He had two freaks, so we went to his house
Mickey`s freak was ugly, but mine was def
So I knocked it off until there wasn`t none left
They were cartoon characters, I met everyone
That story is over, but my rhyme ain`t done
[ VERSE 4 ]
Since I`m a good friend of father time
I`m not gettin older as I say this rhyme
I was warmin the stove at the Alamo
Before Booth shot Lincoln I stole the show
I was down with George at the Delaware
But I wore a Kangol, not the fake white hair
Me and E-Love met Sitting Bull
We made a peace pipe, then we took a pull
Then he brought more leaves from a golden chest
You thought it was tabacco - the shit was cess
There was a lotta great men, and I met everyone
That story is over, but my rhyme ain`t done
[ VERSE 5 ]
11:33, I swear it`s no sooner
I went inside my TV, I met _The Honeymooners_
Ralph wanted me to bust a couple of rhymes
But I had my eyes on Alice`s behind
Norton came down right about that time
Lookin in the frigde, so he could swine and dine
Then I said to myself, I should give em a taste
So I pulled the microphone out my black briefcase
Said, it ain`t Bob Hope or Barry Manilow
Then I borrowed Norton`s hat, cause I forgot my Kangol
Ralph said, I got a scheme, let me get to it
Norton, my pal, I said, Yo, don`t even do it
They were all Honeymooners, and I met everyone
That story is over, but my rhyme ain`t done
[ VERSE 6 ]
Cause my tongue cuts sharp, I hit a note like a harp
Or a harmonica, Veronica, I do my part
In a bedroom with leg room I`m strong like a monsoon
Chilled in Maui-Waui and I carry a harpoon
Stopped at the isle that`s Mali, cause we got ill
Wrote my name on a rock at the top of the hill
I searched for other ways, made love in caves
And I kicked the ill beats that make the natives raise
Now I`m gonna tell you what all this means
From Farmers Boulevard in St. Albans, Queens
There`s a lyrical technician who came to play
Number one b-boy L.L. COOL J
All of this is just a story that I made up
Def lines I say on time with Cut Creator`s cuts
Some of it`s fiction, and some of it`s fact
Not another common rap with a heavy drum track
A whole lotta rhymes, and I wrote everyone
That story is over, and my rhyme IS DONE
HUH!
