Performed by barbra streisand
I want men that I can squeeze, that I can please, that I can tease
Two or three or four or more!
What are those fools waiting for?
I want love and I want kissing I want more of what Im missing
Nobody comes knocking at my front door
What do they think my knockers for?
If they dont come soon there wont be any more!
What can the matter be?
I wash my clothes with lux, my etiquettes the best,
I spend my hard-earned bucks on just what the ads suggest
Oh dear what can the matter be
Nobody makes a pass at me!
Im full of kelloggs bran, eat grapenuts on the sly,
A date is on the can of coffee that I buy
Oh dear, what can the matter be?
Nobody makes a pass at me!
Oh beatrice fair-fax, give me the bare facts,
How do you make them fall?
If you dont save me, the things the lord gave me
Never will be any use to me at all.
I sprinkle on a dash of "fragrance de amour,"
The ads say "makes men rash" but I guess their smell is pour
Oh dear what can the matter be
Nobody makes a pass at me.
I use ovaltine and listerine, barbasol and musterole
Life buoy soap and flit, so why aint I got it?
I use coca cola and marmola, crisco, lesco and mazola,
Ex-lax and vapex, so why aint I got sex?
I use albolene and maybellene, alka seltzer, bromo seltzer,
Odorono and sensation
So why aint I got fascination?
My girdles come from the best, times ads say theyre chick
And up above Im dressed in the brassier of the week
Oh dear, what can the matter be?
Nobody makes a pass at me!
I use ponds on my skin, with rye-crisp I have thinned
I get my culture in I began "gone with the wind"
Oh dear, what can the matter be?
Nobody makes a pass at me!
Oh dorthy dix, please, show me some tricks,
Please, I want some men to hold
I want attention and things I cant mention
And I want them all before I get too old
I use mum evry day and angelus liplure,
But still men stay away just like ivry soap Im pure
Just like I result of 99 and 44
One hundred percent p.o.
Oh dear what can the matter be?
Nobody makes a pass at me
