(listen)
Ive got thirty-six expressions--
Sweet as pie to tough as leather,
And thats six expressions more
Than all them barrymores put together.
Instead of just kicking me
Why dont they give me a lift?
Well,it must be a plot,
cause theyre scared that I got
Such a gift--well, Im miffed--cause
Im the greatest star--
I am by far, but no one knows it!
Wait, theyre gonna hear a voice,
A silver flute--ah hah, ah hah--
Theyll cheer each toot
(hey! that girl is terrific!)
When I expose it!
Now, cant you see to look at me
That Im a nachral camille?
As camille I just feel
Ive got so much to offer.
Kid, I know Id be divine because
Im a nachral cougher.
(coughs)
Some aint got it--not a lump,
Im a great big clump of talent!
Laugh!
Theyll bend in half.
(did you ever hear the story about the traveling salesman? )
A thousand jokes:
Stick around for the jokes,
A thousand faces. I reiterate,
When youre gifted,
Then youre gifted,
These are facts--i got no axe to grind.
Hey, what are you--blind?
In all of the world so far
Im the greatest star!
Who is the pip with piz-azz?
Who is all ginger and jazz?
Who is as glamorous as?
Whos an american beauty rose
With an american beauty nose,
And ten american beaty toes,
Eyes on the target, and wham--
One shot, one gun shot and bam!
Hey, mr. keeney, here I am!
Im the greatest star,
I am by far,
But no one knows it!
Thats why I was born--
Ill blow my horn
Till someone blows it!
Ill light up like a light
Right up like a light
Ill flicker, then flare up
All the worlds gonna stare up
Lookin down
Youll never see me--
Try the sky,
cause thatll be me.
I can make em cry,
I can make em sigh,
Someday theyll clamor
For my dram-er.
Have you guessed yet,
Whos the best yet?
If you aint Ill tell you one more time.
You bet your last dime
In all of the world so far
I am the greatest, greatest star!