I`m Not a Man — текст песни (Sudden Death)

{*a parody of the Positive K song I Got a Man*}

Hey big boy, ooh, you`re lookin` fine
I like your little mustache and your cute behind
What the hell are you talking about?
Yeah, I like guys who go the other route
What-cha say you and me go dance?
There`s something you should know. I don`t think you understand
This can`t be, tell me is it me?
What`s the matter, hon, don`t you like what you see?
No, it`s not that, I knew you didn`t understand
How should I say this...I`m not a man
What`s the point in tryin` to lie to me?
I told ya, I find that really hard to believe
I was born a woman, don`t you see these breasts?
I know that they`re fake so just give it a rest
I`ll admit I think you got a nice face
Yeah now you`re talkin` baby let`s go back to my place
I didn`t know this was a gay bar, so my position stands
I already told ya, I`m not a man
What`s the point in tryin` to lie to me?
I`m not a man, I find that really hard to believe
I`m not a man, what`s the point in tryin` to lie to me?
I`m not a man, I just can`t believe that
Why don`t you believe me? This just isn`t fair
Just look at these legs, hey`re all covered in hair
I`ll win you over if it takes all night
Because I`m really turned on by transvestites
Are you really that stupid? Do I sound like a guy?
Have you ever heard a guy with a voice this high?
I`ve heard guys with higher voices than you got
You sound like the members of the New Kids On The Block
It really must suck to live the life you`ve got
Are you a hunter? Because your brain is shot
You got a five o`clock shadow and you look very strong
So I don`t see any way that I could be wrong
Why don`t you just give up and give me this dance
I know you`re a man, there`s a bulge in your pants
My tampon is full, why don`t you mind your own business?
If that`s not a mustache, then what the hell is it?
I think you better get new glasses, man`Cause me?
I`ve never been a man
What`s the point in tryin` to lie to me
I`m not a man, I find that really hard to believe
I`m not a man, what`s the point in tryin` to lie to me?
I`m not a man, I just can`t believe that
What am I, some desperate man
Who just wants to get you for a one night stand?
You can be a lumberjack and I`ll be your log
You got a better chance of getting on with my dog
We can`t have nothin`? It all depends
I`m not worried, I know I`m gonna get you in the end
What`s that supposed to mean? I want into your jeans
I`ll smack you so hard, that would bring true my dreams
You gotta understand a lot of men here are eyesores
But to me you`re more beautiful than Boy George
You`re not my type I like guys who like girls
So why don`t you go fall off the end of the world
Your nose is so big, you must weigh a ton
Your legs are so hairy, your panty hose run
I`ll take you on trips all across the land
What part of no don`t you understand?
You`re the type of guy that can nurture me
I was the cutest little girl in the nursery
I think you just had some good surgery

I don`t have to take this, I`m outta here
No, wait, sit down, c`mon, join me for a beer
Why would I wanna stay here with you?
You know you can`t resist the thought of me with you
I`ll do things to you that you`ve never even seen
I`m very creative when I`m with drag queens
If you say no now then you`ll change your mind
And when I do, I won`t be hard to find
I`m the man of your dreams and I`m sure that
You`re the type of guy I`ve been lookin` for
Just come back here with your fake breasts flappin`
I`m not a man, you`re not a what?
Now when did this happen?
What`s the point in tryin` to lie to me?
I`m not a man, I find that really hard to believe
I`m not a man, what`s the point in tryin` to lie to me
I`m not a man, I just can`t believe that
I`m not a man, you have to be so give it a rest
I`m not a man, I know you are but what am I?
I`m not a man, well, not like me
I`m not a man