Phony Calls — текст песни (Yankovic Weird Al)

(parody of Waterfalls by TLC)
Mom and dad are goin` out for the evening
And you`re stuck inside the house all alone
That`s when you decide it might be fun to harrass [sic] someone
Dial a random number up on your telephone
You ask if their refrigerator is running
Then you tell `em they should go out and catch it
Buddy, if they ever figured out where you were callin` `em from
They`d come and bust your head right in with a ratchet
Listen to me
Don`t go makin` phony calls
Please stick to the seven-digit numbers you`re used to
I know that you think it`s funny drivin` folks right up the wall
But it`s really gettin` old fast
Little Melvin has a natural obsession
Askin` for Prince Albert in a can
He gets a kick each time he makes a collect call
To some guy he doesn`t know who lives in Japan
He`s callin` strangers up at three in the morning
Gives `em pizza pie delivery at four
He won`t be laughin` when they`re tracin` his line
One day the phone police will be there at his door
Yo, hear me
Don`t go makin` phony calls
Only dial the seven-digit numbers you`re used to
Swear someday I`m gonna yank that phone cord right out from the wall
How long is this phase gonna last?
Come on
[excerpt from The Simpsons TV show:]
Moe: Moe`s Tavern, where the elite meet to drink.
Bart: Uh, yeah, hello, is Mike there? Last name Rotch.
Moe: Hold on, I`ll check Mike Rotch? Mike Rotch?
Hey, has anybody seen Mike Rotch lately?
Listen to me, you little puke!
One of these days I`m gonna catch you,
and I`m gonna carve my name on your back with an ice pick!
Bart: Ha ha ha ha ha.
Don`t go makin` phony calls
Please stick to the seven-digit numbers you`re used to
You went through the New York City phone book and prank-called `em all
Hope that you grow out of this fast