Hes a serious mister
Shake his hand and hell twist your arm
With monopoly money
Well be buying the funny farm
So Ill do flips,
And get paid in chips
From a diamond as big as the ritz--
Then Im calling it quits
Eyes the color of candy
Lies to cover the handicap
Though your slippers are ruby
Youll be led to the booby trap
And theres no prize,
Just a smaller size
So Im wearing the shoe til it fits--
Then Im calling it quits
Now hes numbering himself among the masterminds
Cause hes hit upon the leverage of valentines
Lifting dialogue from judy garland storylines
Where get-tough girls turn into goldmines
But oh, those polaroid babies
Taking chances with rabies
Happy to tear me to bits--
Well, Im calling it quits
Yes, Im calling it quits.