Monty: Answering the telephone
Is not so hard to do
Once you know the secret
Which I shall show to you
What you say - that`s the key!
And it`s easy as it can be
You can say...
(RING!)
Bert: Hello? No, this isn`t Ernie`s ducky!
(RING!)
Monty: Or, perhaps...
Cookie Monster: Hello? You got cookie for me please?
(RING!)
Monty: Or...
Count: Hello, you are caller number one.
Monty: But don`t say...(picks up phone)
Watermelons and Cheese!
Chorus: (dancing in) No, you don`t say -
Monty: Watermelons and -
Chorus: You don`t say -
Monty: Watermelons and -
Chorus: You never say -
Monty: Watermelons and Cheese!
Chorus: Puh-lease try a-gain!
Monty: This should be a breeze...
(RING!)
(answers) Watermelons and Cheese!
Oh, sorry!
Chorus: You could have said -
(RING!)
Bert: (with pigeon) Hello? Bernice, it`s for you.
(RING!)
Chorus: A classic!
Cookie Monster: Hi, me can`t talk now - eating cookies!
(RING!)
Chorus: Or...
Count: Hello, you are caller number two - `a, `a, `a!
(RING!)
Chorus: You can do it!
Monty: (answering) Watermelons and Cheese!
Chorus: No, you don`t say -
Monty: Watermelons and -
Chorus: You don`t say -
Monty: Watermelons and -
Chorus: You never say -
Monty: Watermelons and Cheese!
Chorus: Puh-lease try a-gain!
Monty: This should be a breeze...
(RING!)
(answers) Watermelons and Cheese!
Chorus: NO!!!
Monty: Right! Jolly good! Not a problem! I think I`ve got it now.
You don`t say, you never never say -
(RING!)
Watermelon: (answering) Watermelon and Cheese!
Monty: Unless you`re a Watermelon...
Watermelon: It`s for you! (hands phone to a giant swiss cheese)
Monty: Or a Cheese!
Watermelon: Ha ha ha!
Cheese: Gouda you to call ...