Bert (fixing the machine): Ha! Well, this machine knows what letter comes next. I put this here...
Ernie: Hi there, Bert. What`s that machine you`re working on?
Bert: Oh hi, Ernie. This is my latest invention, my automatic R detector.
Ernie: No kidding.
Bert: Yeah. Anytime this machine hears an R or an R word, it rings a bell. I`ll start it up for you now....
(sound of machine starting)
Ernie: Wow! Look at that machine go.
Bert: Now if you`ll just say something that begins with R... (bell rings)
Ernie: What was that?
Bert: Oh, I just said R. (bell rings) And when you say R (bell rings), the bell rings. (bell rings)
Ernie: Hey! You said rings (bell rings) which begins with R. (bell rings)
Bert: Right. (bell rings)
Ernie: Why, that`s remarkable! (bell rings) Hey! (Ernie laughs) Keeheehee! That`s fun. Let me tell it an R riddle. (bell rings twice)
Bert: O.K. Just don`t go too fast. I don`t know what`ll happen if the machine gets going too fast.
Ernie: O.K. Listen to this, machine: Roscoe really raised rabbits while Ruth rode the red reindeer. If Roscoe`s rabbits raised a racket, why did Ruth`s reindeer run the rabbits ragged?
(bell rings 17 times)
Bert: Hey, hey! Don`t talk so fast. The machine is beginning to smoke.
Ernie: Well, I only have one last poem here.
Bert: Yeah, yeah, but listen..
Ernie: Robert rolled reddish radishes around the ring of rubber rubbish... (The bell rings seven times and the machine makes a Moooooooo! sound)
(The machine explodes and makes a whistling sound)
Bert: Hey, hey, wait! Hold it!....Wait!....Now look what you did!
Ernie: Oh my! The machine looks ruined.
(The bell rings and the machine makes another whistling sound)
Bert: Rats!
(The machine pops out a spring)